Studying To Be Quiet

Recently, I was watching an Oprah (y'all know how I love Oprah), and there was a segment about going 21 days without complaining.

I decided to take the challenge, and not complain for 21 days.  To appreciate this, you must understand that I complain quite a bit– I guess anyone following my posts would know that. lol  But I truly believe it's possible to abstain from complaint.

What I've found is that it's easier said than done.  One of the true things that I've encountered is that once you've resolved upon a certain path, tests come to determine your loyalty to that path, and simultaneously to strengthen your resolve.

I wanted to complain about a lot of things– the smell in the grocery store, ppl cutting me off in traffic, the ever-present disgruntled co-worker– but I had to keep silent, and not verbalize my complaints.. and more than that, I had to fill the vacancy.  Instead of complaining, I had to affirm.  I had to force myself to see the brighter side of things… and whatever you give you attention to, expands.  Whenever negativity arose, I had to immediately change my perspective or my attention to what was good, what was working, what was making the world beautiful at that present moemtn.

Today marks the 21st day… unbeknowst to me when I first started this post, but I guess subconsciously my clock is always ticking and guiding. :)

I'm really happy I decided to challenge my negativity.  It's 21 days, but it's not like tomorrow I'm going to start being negative again.  No, I see the value and the health in changing… and I will continue my no complaint policy.

What about you guys?  I know there's a lot of positive ppl here– what was the catalyst for your change? 

Re: Studying To Be Quiet

Kyo,

I don't see Oprah (I don't watch commercial TV) but I think a test of myself like this would be interesting.  I'm headed in that direction anyway.  What I've been doing is consciously connecting with joy, happiness - at my core, apart from who I am, what is happening in my life or in the lives of those around me.  I have also been reading Bryon Katie's “Loving What Is” and trying to stay out of others business.  That does not preclude me from expressing compassion.

On that topic, I got a really good card at the Osho Zen Tarot website - it is called The Lovers and describes the stages of love.  “Sex is below love, compassion is above love; love is exactly in the middle… .When your love is not just a desire for the other, when your love is not only a need, when your love is a sharing, when your love is not that of a beggar but an emperor, when your love is not asking for something in return but is ready only to give - to give for the sheer joy of giving - then add meditation to it and the pure fragrance is released. That is compassion; compassion is the highest phenomenon.”

I think this may be what is driving so much of the opposition to perceived inadequacies in The Secret or failings in how some people use the Law of Attraction.  However, that said, it is my belief that the more each of us individually can make our lives more beautiful (whatever that means to us personally as individuals) the result will be a higher vibration that impacts all of life on this planet earth.

I am going to try the No Complaints for 3 weeks.  It would do me good to stop myself before I go there.  Congratulations Kyo and many happy returns ! ! !

Deborah

Re: Studying To Be Quiet

Hi Kyo  It's been a while since I've posted here…it feels GREAT!

While I haven't seen Oprah's show regarding complaining and stopping it I can say that as a part of my 'reconstruction' as a being in the past few years I have been actively catching myself complaining and stopping myself.  It's one of those behaviors that we have to do in order to stop and in order to get into the habit of not thinking that way to begin with.  I've also been working on, with some success I'm happy to report, not putting other people down or passing judgement on them…not even little judgements like the way they wear their hair or their clothing, etc.  This judgement passing on others is the 'sister' to complaining if you ask me and comes from the same source.

I think maybe that the source of complaining is our expectations.  We form certain expectations in our minds of what something is supposed to be like or even maybe how something might go awry and our complaints come when our expectations either are or are not met.  Is that making any sense at all?

An example is McDonalds.  How many times have you gone there and placed a simple order only to get it completely messed up and you have to go into the restaurant and get it fixed OR you complain a lot and then just eat whatever they gave you?  When this has happened to me my husband reminds me that the people in McDonalds for the most part are highly unskilled and most likely are working there just to have any job so they may not put as much care into what they do as people might do in other places.  In otherwords…what did I expect?  I go there expecting perfection and when I don't get it I complain.  Well I used to all of the time but now I'm working very hard on not doing it at all. 

It is getting easier and easier though.

Blessings,
Cheryl