Gaia: Co-Creating Reality ~ What Else is Possible? What the Bleep - Our Search for Happiness

Re: Illusions

http://Kamalini.gaia.com — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:10:31 GMT

I like wat you say Nicole- we make our choices about what we wish to delude ourselves with and what we wish to make appear real. Most of the stuff around us, and that includes pain - is pretty real eh! A lot of the posts here say much- most of which is as true and meaningful as we would wish it to be. All the varying viewpoints converge to one truth- and that one Truth is unique to us all. We need to give meaning to our existence- and pain like all else is part of life here and now. Happiness and pain are but two sides of the same coin (to use a oft-used expression but makes sense doesn't it?)....we just to keep tossing the coin and blow on it to make the side we wish to envision - stare at us. It's upto us really, isn't it?
Everything is real - AND everything is unreal depending upon the state of mind one chooses to adopt. Our lives move constantly with our minds....it's all in the mind as they say.
Cheers with a big namaste from Bangalore, India
Kay

Re: Which is more important to you? Integrity or Harmony?

http://dolphins.gaia.com — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 02:21:08 GMT

I used to think that living in harmony -- without conflict -- was more desirable than living in integrity. But over the years I have found avoiding conflict as a means of creating harmony unacceptable and ineffective. And now that I have learned many practical ways of 'holding my seat' in the midst of emotional turmoil or conflict, I am more willing to act with integrity. The result is a stronger more resilient center and greater respect for myself.

Re: Which is more important to you? Integrity or Harmony?

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:04:00 GMT

I do agree that we shouldn't focus on only one aspect of our lives....but I do believe that having integrity of self will lead to happiness. Its at least a good place from which to start your journey!!

Re: Which is more important to you? Integrity or Harmony?

http://seekerfinder.gaia.com — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:08:12 GMT

In an infinite Universe where EVERYTHING is connected perhaps to single one attribute out as more important than any other is missing the point of it all. Just perhaps the whole idea about all of us growing spiritually is not to recognize one attribute over another but is to learn to integrate all of our best attributes into one simple loving connected being.

In my experience when we begin working on improving one area of our life or one part of ourselves all other areas are affected by virtue of how everything is interconnected. I don't know if it matters where we begin but only that we move forward by living in the moment each and every one of us.

Of course as always this is simply my opinion and it's not necessary anyone should agree.

Blessings,
Cheryl

Re: Which is more important to you? Integrity or Harmony?

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:59:03 GMT

If I have to pick....I would pick Integrity. Why? Because if you are true to yourself....your interconnected inner-self....then harmony would just happen on its own!

Which is more important to you? Integrity or Harmony?

http://ClarityQuest.gaia.com — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 17:03:23 GMT

Please answer this question first before reading on... ...

Which is more important to you? Integrity or Harmony?

Integrity... ...
“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.” ~ Spencer Johnson

“Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.” ~ W. Clement Stone

"No more duty can be urged upon those who are entering the great theater of life than simple loyalty to their best convictions." ~ Edwin Hubbel Chapin

"It is necessary to the happiness of a man that he be mentally faithful to himself." ~ Thomas Paine

"This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." ~ William Shakespeare

Harmony... ...
"You cannot add to the peace and good will of the world if you fail to create an atmosphere of harmony and love right where you live and work." ~ Thomas Dreier

"Begrudging others leads to disharmony. Without harmony there can be no happiness. Therefore, let go of grudges and restore harmony. In a harmonious world, happiness is possible." ~ Arthur Dobrin

"If you don’t need to prove that you are right or that someone else’s behavior should be punished, you can better see your way to achieving harmony in any given situation." ~ Catherine Ingram

"Embody the three harmonies: within; with others; and with nature." ~ Robert Gilman

"Mankind's role is to fulfill his heaven-sent purpose through a sincere heart that is in harmony with all creation and loves all things." ~ Morihei Usehiba

Now, please answer this question "again"... ...
Which is more important to your Happniess? Integrity or Harmony?

"But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads." ~ Albert Camus

What Else is Possible? Must Integrity & Harmony be mutually exclusive? Can we have both in the same moment?

"When male and female combine, all things achieve harmony." ~ Tao Te Ching

With Gratitude, we'll see that "The world basically and fundamentally is constituted on the basis of harmony. Everything works in cooperation with something else." ~ Preston Bradley

"From discord, find harmony." ~ Albert Einstein

"When one reaches this state of harmony between things and one's self, one reaches a state of perfect freedom and peace--which makes everything possible and right. Life becomes perpetual revelation." ~ Georges Braque

A source of "Feel Good" Stories.

http://jointhesecret.gaia.com — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 06:59:21 GMT

One of the states that Ester Hicks discusses is the ability to focus on the good. I thought I would create a set of stories that make people feel good. If you would like to submit a story, I would love to post it on my blog.

http://jointhesecret.blogspot.com/search/label/Feel%20Good%20Stories

Re: Happy Resources

http://ClarityQuest.gaia.com — Sat, 05 May 2007 18:48:13 GMT

Hi Debby,

Yes, Dr. Martin's work is amazing & both Learned Optimism & Authentic Happiness are very useful books.

I've been a member at the Authentic Happiness site for a while but have not completed all their tests. Their most popular test is the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire which identifies our strengths from among 24 Character Strengths.

Also, there's one that measures Overall Happiness... Authentic Happiness Inventory Questionnaire, one for Current Happiness... Fordyce Emotions Questionnaire & another to assess Enduring Happiness... General Happiness Questionnaire

They even have a Gratitude Questionnaire to measure Appreciation about the Past as well as tests for Optimism About the Future & Forgiveness.

Btw, all the above tests are free. They have a seperate paid site @ http://www.reflectivehappiness.com/

Re: Happy Resources

http://dtowle79.gaia.com — Sat, 05 May 2007 18:04:01 GMT

Alex,

This piece you posted mentions Dr. Martin Seligan from The University of Pennsylvania. He is the Head of their Reflective Happiness Program. I have contributed to his studies by filling out the questionnaires on his site. It is pretty interesting. He also wrote a book, Authenic Happiness. I have not read it though so can't give an opinion it.

Thanks for the free ebook info - I"ll download it.

Debby

The Keys to Happiness, and Why We Don't Use Them by Robin Lloyd

http://ClarityQuest.gaia.com — Sat, 05 May 2007 17:42:27 GMT

"It requires some effort to achieve a happy outlook on life, and most people don't make it."
—Author and researcher Gregg Easterbrook

Psychologists have recently handed the keys to happiness to the public, but many people cling to gloomy ways out of habit, experts say.

Polls show Americans are no happier today than they were 50 years ago despite significant increases in prosperity, decreases in crime, cleaner air, larger living quarters and a better overall quality of life.

So what gives?

Happiness is 50 percent genetic, says University of Minnesota researcher David Lykken. What you do with the other half of the challenge depends largely on determination, psychologists agree. As Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

What works, and what doesn't

Happiness does not come via prescription drugs, although 10 percent of women 18 and older and 4 percent of men take antidepressants, according to the Department of Health and Human Services. Anti-depressants benefit those with mental illness but are no happiness guarantee, researchers say.

Be Happy

University of Pennsylvania’s Martin Seligman offers questionnaires for assessing your happiness, beating depression and developing insights into how to be happier on his web site.

Nor will money or prosperity buy happiness for many of us. Money that lifts people out of poverty increases happiness, but after that, the better paychecks stop paying off sense-of-well-being dividends, research shows.

One route to more happiness is called "flow," an engrossing state that comes during creative or playful activity, psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has found. Athletes, musicians, writers, gamers, and religious adherents know the feeling. It comes less from what you're doing than from how you do it.

Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California at Riverside has discovered that the road toward a more satisfying and meaningful life involves a recipe repeated in schools, churches and synagogues. Make lists of things for which you're grateful in your life, practice random acts of kindness, forgive your enemies, notice life's small pleasures, take care of your health, practice positive thinking, and invest time and energy into friendships and family.

The happiest people have strong friendships, says Ed Diener, a psychologist University of Illinois. Interestingly his research finds that most people are slightly to moderately happy, not unhappy.

On your own

Some Americans are reluctant to make these changes and remain unmotivated even though our freedom to pursue happiness is written into the preamble of the Declaration of Independence.

Don't count on the government, for now, Easterbrook says.

Our economy lacks the robustness to sustain policy changes that would bring about more happiness, like reorienting cities to minimize commute times.

The onus is on us.

"There are selfish reasons to behave in altruistic ways," says Gregg Easterbrook, author of "The Progress Paradox: How Life Gets Better While People Feel Worse" (Random House, 2004).

"Research shows that people who are grateful, optimistic and forgiving have better experiences with their lives, more happiness, fewer strokes, and higher incomes," according to Easterbrook. "If it makes world a better place at same time, this is a real bonus."

Diener has collected specific details on this. People who positively evaluate their well-being on average have stronger immune systems, are better citizens at work, earn more income, have better marriages, are more sociable, and cope better with difficulties.

Unhappy by default

Lethargy holds many people back from doing the things that lead to happiness.

Easterbrook, also a Visiting Fellow at the Brookings Institute, goes back to Freud, who theorized that unhappiness is a default condition because it takes less effort to be unhappy than to be happy.

"If you are looking for something to complain about, you are absolutely certain to find it," Easterbrook told LiveScience. "It requires some effort to achieve a happy outlook on life, and most people don't make it. Most people take the path of least resistance. Far too many people today don't make the steps to make their life more fulfilling one."

Source: http://www.livescience.com/humanbiology/060227_happiness_keys.html

Study: Doing Good Makes You Feel Good by Melinda Wenner

http://ClarityQuest.gaia.com — Sat, 05 May 2007 17:30:49 GMT

There's a new incentive to doing good things for others: It makes you happier, according to a new study.

Michael Steger, a psychologist at the University of Louisville in Kentucky, has always been amazed by how differently people lead their lives. Pat Tillman, for example, left the NFL to enlist in the Army and fight in Iraq and later Afghanistan (where he was killed), Steger said, but celebrity and socialite Paris Hilton continually pursues “a public life of shallowness.”

Steger couldn’t help but wonder which behavior makes people happier—seeking pleasure or doing good?

To find out, he and his colleagues asked a group of 65 undergraduates to complete an online survey each day for three weeks that assessed how times they participated in hedonic, or pleasure-seeking behaviors, versus meaningful activities, such as helping others, listening to friends’ problems and/or pursuing one’s life goals.

The surveys asked the subjects how much purpose they felt their lives had each day and whether they felt happy or sad. The subjects also completed two sets of questionnaires at the beginning and end of the study to assess how they felt about their lives more generally.

They found that the more people participated in meaningful activities, the happier they were and the more purposeful their lives felt. Pleasure-seeking behaviors, on the other hand, did not make people happier.

Realizing that some people may feel guilty about reporting pleasure-seeking behaviors, Steger and his colleagues then modified the survey questions slightly to make them seem less exceptionable, and asked a new group of students to perform the study again, this time over a four-week period. The psychologists got the same results.

“A lot of times we think that happiness comes about because you get things for yourself,” said Richard Ryan, a psychologist at the University of Rochester, who was not involved in the study. But “it turns out that in a paradoxical way, giving gets you more, and I think that’s an important message in a culture that’s pretty often getting messages to the opposite effect.”

In order to make sure that the relationship between happiness and doing good wasn’t the other way around—that happiness instead leads people to do good things—the researchers looked at which tended to come first. They found that the subjects became happier after they did something good, suggesting that happiness does, in fact, come about as a result of doing good things.

The results of the study, to be published in the Journal of Research in Personality, present an “enormously optimistic picture of people, that as a cynic, I was very happy to see,” Steger told LiveScience.

Source: http://www.livescience.com/humanbiology/070503_doing_good.html

Why Do Good? Brain Study Offers Clues by E.J. Mundell

http://ClarityQuest.gaia.com — Sat, 05 May 2007 17:28:56 GMT

(HealthDay News) -- People may not perform selfless acts just for an emotional reward, a new brain study suggests.

Instead, they may do good because they're acutely tuned into the needs and actions of others.

Scientists say a piece of the brain linked to perceiving others' intentions shows more activity in unselfish vs. selfish types.

"Perhaps altruism did not grow out of a warm-glow feeling of doing good for others, but out of the simple recognition that that thing over there is a person that has intentions and goals. And therefore, I might want to treat them like I might want them to treat myself," explained study author Scott Huettel, an associate professor of psychology at Duke University Medical Center, in Durham, N.C.

He and lead researcher Dharol Tankersley, a graduate student at Duke, published their findings in the Jan. 21 online issue of Nature Neuroscience.

For decades, psychologists and neuroscientists have puzzled over the tendency of humans to engage in altruistic acts -- defined by Huettel's group as acts "that intentionally benefit another organism, incur no direct personal benefit, and sometimes bear a personal cost."

Experts note that altruism doesn't seem to provide individuals with any survival edge, so how and why did it evolve?

To help solve that puzzle, Heuttel's team had a group of healthy young adults either engage in a computer game or watch as the computer played the game itself. In some sessions, the computer and participants played for personal gain, while in other sessions, they played for charity.

The researchers used high-tech functional MRI (fMRI) to observe "hot spots" of activity in the participants' brains as they engaged in these tasks.

Participants were also asked to complete a questionnaire aimed at assessing their personal levels of selfishness or altruism.

Huettel said he was surprised by the study results.

"We went into this experiment with the idea that altruism was really a function of the brain's reward systems -- altruistic people would simply find it more rewarding," he said.

But instead, a whole other brain region, called the posterior superior temporal cortex (pSTC), kicked into high gear as altruism levels rose.

The pSTC is located near the back of the brain and is not focused on reward. Instead, it focuses on perceiving others' intentions and actions, Huettel said.

"The general function of this region is that it seems to be associated with perceiving, usually visually, stimuli that seems meaningful to us -- for example, something in the environment that might move an object from place to place," he explained.

This type of perception would have allowed humans' more primitive ancestors to quickly pick out a potential threat -- a crouching lion, for example -- from amid a mass of less important stimuli.

It's much less clear why pSTC activity gets ramped up in the brains of altruistic people, however. "That was really surprising to us," Huettel said.

The researchers found that pSTC activity was highest when study participants were observing the computer play the game on its own -- not when they were playing themselves. "That gets to this idea of agency -- watching somebody else play the game," Huettel said. "You are thinking, 'Oh, the computer pressed the button -- somebody else did that.' "

The bottom line, he said, is that altruism may rely on a basic understanding that others have motivations and actions that may be similar to our own.

"It's not exactly empathy," he said, but something more primitive. "We think that altruism may have grown out of -- at least in part -- such a system."

Another expert said the Duke study raises even more questions than it answers.

"It's a really interesting study," said Paul Sanberg, director of the Center of Excellence for Aging and Brain Repair at the University of South Florida College of Medicine, in Tampa. "It would be really interesting, now though, to see if people who had damage to that [brain] area were much less altruistic."

Huettel said he's pondered that possibility. "For example, we don't know if people who are sociopaths, or people who are autistic, might show differences in this region," he said. "It's a good question, but we don't have data that shows anything one way or another. This is just a jumping-off point."

Sanberg said the study also showed only an association between heightened pSTC activity and altruism, not a direct cause-and-effect relationship. "That needs further study," he said.

But the Florida neuroscientist said this type of work is helping unravel the mysteries of human consciousness and behavior.

"These functional studies with high-level human behaviors are shedding important light on the contribution of different brain areas," Sanberg said.

More information

Find out more about the human brain at Harvard University.

Happy Resources

http://ClarityQuest.gaia.com — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 17:04:28 GMT

Came across a free ebook (pdf) on happiness today:

How to Be Happy and Have Fun Changing the World

Table of Contents:
Acknowledgements
Ch 1: The Introduction
Ch 2: Owner's Manual for Human Beings
Ch 3: Self-Awareness and the Daily Affirmation
Ch 4: "To Thine Own Self Be True"
Ch 5: External versus Internal Happiness
Ch 6: Cause and Affect -- Attractor Fields
Ch 7: The Proof is in the Pudding
Ch 8: Transforming Emotions
Ch 9: Have Fun Helping to Change the World
Appendices I: Recommended Reading or Listening
Appendices II: Keep in Touch

Source: http://www.howtobehappy.org/

Re: Happiness is a Choice

http://ClarityQuest.gaia.com — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 13:25:50 GMT

& here's another 2 I got in my mailbox today from one of my favourite site, Higher Awareness. The site has recently undergone a major upgrading & is now a membership site offering hundreds of journaling and personal growth resources including the Smart Question Coaching themes along with its 18 programs which I highly recommend.

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude." ~ Denis Waitley

"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere." ~ Agnes Repplier

Re: Happiness is a Choice

http://ClarityQuest.gaia.com — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 09:46:18 GMT

You brought up a very good point, Gaiabreeze. This boils down to a lack of gratitude & appreciation doesn't it?

If you are reading this & can't think of anything to be grateful for... I urge you to read Benediction.

This thread seems to have ended with the idea that happiness is the mental habit of focusing our attention on 1) what we already have and 2) something outside ourselves that inspires our devotion, and 3) choosing to live in joy regardless of external or internal circumstances... ...

I came across some quotations by Dale Carnegie which supports these ideas.

"Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude."

"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about."

"Remember happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think."

"The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping ."

More importantly, Carnegie also suggested some ideas of how to apply his insights to increasing our level of happiness... ...

"Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours."

"Act as if you were already happy and that will tend to make you happy."

"If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying."

& most important of all... ... remember that "You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime."

Who is that someone around you who might be lonely or discouraged? Please go offer him/her a few words of sincere appreciation now!

P.S. There is one statement that I think is rather controversial though... as it seems to suggest that happiness and success are mutually exclusive!

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get."

Re: the clarity of now

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 15:23:58 GMT

Great Patricia, so great and so true !!!!!
we are meant to heal ourselves !
~

Re: the clarity of now

http://shiningstar.gaia.com — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 14:53:46 GMT

I wish to share some of my life experiences here. I had a diagnosis at a very good hospital of a brain tumor. The doctor said I could not go home I had to go into the hospitalNow and have surgery. Scared me nearly to death. I had a new corn baby and a 15 yr old waiting for me at home with a fairly new husband. I told doctor I would be back when my baby was 16. He assured me I would not live that long. My everyday life was tainted each and every moment of the next 15 yrs with his predictions of doom. I went back as I promised and was told, after the tests that it had been a misdiagnosis. Now what would have happened if I had just accepted his truth and did as he tried to scare me into doing???But due to my trusting myself and not allowing my body to react to the fear he instilled within me by going into a setting where disease is fought like a war I went home into peace. I endeavored to put my life in somekind of order but did not let myself dwell in his fear any more than I had to.--Within a year my husband was set on fire, due to an accident. We went to the emergency roo and after being told he would probably not make it through the night went into the burn ward.For four days we lived in their world> He begged me to take him home. I will not go into his total burns except to say his lips, aers, face, back and hand were third degree. The diagnois was 5 yrs of surgery, infection and pain. They said there was no place on a body to transplant lips. With no support at all we went home.We doctored our way with natural products.Today, if you saw him, you would never know he had ever had a burn anywhere. We missed the terrible pain of scabs and the disfigurement that goes with their treatment. I only say to you to trust your own knowingness whereever that takes you for their is a power, a god, if you will, that is inside every person that knows how to heal and what to do.

Re: the clarity of now

http://yhd52754.gaia.com — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 17:19:00 GMT

I remember in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz that he recommends taking "Death" as an advisor. I recently had my own wake up call. I have a chronic condition that really causes me no trouble, I see my specialist once a year and monitor my condition. Undergoing treatment would mean making myself intentionally very sick for an extended period of time. There are issues in my business life which need to be set in order and I would really like my children to get a little older before I undertake such action.

Well, recently a study came out that indicated under the best circumstances, on average, I had only 8 years left to live. There was an initial shock when I considered how fast the 6 yrs of my sons life have flown by and how he would only be 14 in 8 years and the baby only 10. The thought that it might be a possibility was not only alarming and depressing but one I could not conceive of or believe. But it did give me pause regarding the current state of my relationships and how I would want to be remembered if death comes too soon. I realized that I am not as "happy" in my reactions, attitude or behavior as I would like to be. Actually, I've been struggling with mild depression for a year and I know that most of it stems from feelings of inadequancy regarding my work and my children. But that is no reason to be cranky, crabby, sarcastic or condescending or feel just plain hopeless.

So, I am working on being happier and at the same time, reason with myself that many factors determine when and how I might die. So, I can't dwell on what one study of unknown details predicts. I must follow my instincts. I don't fear death but I have no desire to hasten it either.

Deborah

Re: the clarity of now

http://seekerfinder.gaia.com — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 20:00:03 GMT

Good for you Markie for recognizing what the Universe is trying to show you through this experience.

Here's a fresh new quote I just got from an animated film believe it or not: "I do not look to the past...it distracts from the now." Lovely sentiment I think and good sound advice.

My heart goes out to you regarding the loss of your grandfather. I lost my grandmother a few years ago and have been doing my best to let those things I treasured in her live on in me...in my thoughts, actions and reactions.

Love to you,
Cheryl

Re: the clarity of now

http://markie-falan.gaia.com — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 06:16:39 GMT

My grandpa just died. It happened in about a month that he was well and strong and all of a sudden he was gone. That made me realized how fragile life is and that i have to concentrate on the now and savor every moment. Kudos.