The Law of Forgiveness

People are always asking how I find things. If I knew how I find things I would find a way out of this illusion. However, I did not find this. This was found by Dea/Otilia and posted on the Teahouse board. It is of such unusual character I wished for others to see it. If you feel so moved, thank Dea/Otilia http://otilia.zaadz.com/ for finding this pearl.

An excerpt from Nathaniel Branden article “The Benefits and Hazards of the Philosophy of Ayn Rand. A Personal Statement.”

“…I recall a story I once read by a psychiatrist, a story about a tribe that has a rather unusual way of dealing with moral wrongdoers or lawbreakers. Such a person, when his or her infraction is discovered, is not reproached or condemned but is brought into the center of the village square-and the whole tribe gathers around. Everyone who has ever known this person since the day he or she was born steps forward, one by one, and talks about anything and everything good this person has ever been known to have done. The speakers aren't allowed to exaggerate or make mountains out of molehills; they have to be realistic, truthful, factual. And the person just sits there, listening, as one by one people talk about all the good things this person has done in the course of his or her life. Sometimes, the process takes several days. When it's over, the person is released and everyone goes home and there is no discussion of the offense-and there is almost no repetition of offenses (Zunin, 1970).”
The entire article can be found in the section Ayn Rand&Objectivism on the main page of the site http://www.nathanielbranden.com/.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Here’s my favorite quote from that article. Wish more of the so-called X-tains in the White house would “get” it:

“You do not lead people to virtue by contempt.”

I think I’m going to take it up in a discussion on Apollonian vs. Hermetic Medicine on my site. Although the Apollonian approach, historically, was NOT strictly rational (Pythia for example), we have made it so. Hermetic approaches, which include personal alchemy such as that in contemporary Spiritual Psychology seek to bridge the gap between who we THINK we are and what our SOUL is trying to tell us about who we are.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

At the tip of the iceberg, Forgiveness is about letting go of blame and guilt. Blame evaporates when we Forgive Others. Guilt evaporates when we Forgive our Self. Blame and Guilt are different sides of the same coin.

Forgiveness comes with the understanding of and identification with the limitations of and demands on the person at any particular moment in time.

The foundation for Forgiveness is built with Respect for the uniqueness in each person’s individuality and understanding that each person needs to walk his/her own unique path towards fulfillment. We would then naturally be able to accept what might have been previously unacceptable to us. We would also be able to forgive any past grudges and love the person because we now realise that what has happened cannot be changed but the person has since changed.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” ~ Mark Twain

Forgiveness is like the fragrance a flower shares with the person whose foot crashed it. A flower is more than its form. A flower includes its fragrance, which returns into the flow of nature just like its form. Similarly, it is only by releasing our attention and energy from the past that we can reconnect with our spirit, tap into the flow of the Universe and participate fully in the present.

Just beneath the surface of the water, Forgiveness is about letting go of negative emotions arising from memories of our experiences. It is about being compassionate and expressing empathy so that our negative experiences no longer cloud our vision.

With compassion, we love everyone and anyone unconditionally, without judgment or attachment.

Deep down, Forgiveness is about releasing our attachments to our history. This comes with the realization that we have the choice to co-create our identity every moment in the present. Forgiveness about going Beyond Possibilities… giving up whom we were for the possibilities of who can choose to become.

P.S. Is there a need to hold a grudge or resentment in order to learn the lesson?

“If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

The following is a poem by George Roemisch

FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness is the wind-blown bud
which blooms in placid beauty at Verdun.

Forgiveness is the tiny slate-gray sparrow
which has built its nest of twigs and string
among the shards of glass upon
the walls of shame.

Forgiveness is the child who
laughs in merry ecstasy
beneath the toothed fence that
closes in Da Nang.

Forgiveness is the fragrance of the violet
which still clings fast to the heel
that crushed it.

Forgiveness is the broken dream
which hides itself within the corner of the mind
oft called forgetfulness so that
it will not bring pain to the dreamer.

Forgiveness is the reed
which stands up straight and green
when nature's mighty rampage halts, full spent.

Forgiveness is a God who will not leave us
after all we've done.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Quite a bit ago on a different blog site (gasp) I posted a series of blogs on the topic of forgiveness and gratitude.  This is a small portion of what I wrote, but it sums up what I believe about forgiveness:

So let's talk about forgiveness.  It has nothing, in my book, to do with accountability.  In fact, I will say it has precious little to do with the person you are trying or denying forgiveness to.  The act of forgiving is about YOU (the wounded party in this case) choosing to disconnect to the wound.  I think of it like a huge wall electrical plugs.  The cords you see plugged in are the energy charges you are allowing to seep out of you.  For each act or person you are needing to forgive, you offer a little more of your energy over to a wounded place inside.

We people are very funny.  There is a huge wave of folks that would willingly jump right over the concept of feeling their emotions because they “morally and spiritually need to forgive”.  Then they come back to it time and time again, and I'd say that is because they didn't forgive.  They kept a strong connection to that wounded place.

I have had people in my life that have enacted crimes against me that defy adequate description.  I have taken my time, slowly unraveled the ideology that surrounds a wounded soul, felt my emotions, and as it is time I have forgiven.  I have disconnected from that one wounded place.  Then I move onto the next electrical tie and begin to work on detaching from that wounded place.  I do not negate accountability in behavior.  It doesn't change the horror of what was done.  What it does do, is alter my attachment to it.  It quits being something I allow to suck my life energy away.

Making amends, when you are the one having caused hurt to another…. That requires owning it.  Accountability.  And funny enough… the willingness to also forgive self.

I like to picture this huge vortex of energy in the center of a room.  Let's call that LOVE.  Let's say that you are connected to that source (as we all are), but you have so many cords plugging into wounded places, that your life force is weaker and the love you are able to allow yourself to feel is muted.  You can't disconnect from a source that is threaded through all of us.  Love is, whether you choose to feel it, understand it, or ignore it.  It doesn't cease to exist anymore than the sun ceases to shine when you close your eyes, or it is on the other side of the Earth.  It is still going steady.

Forgiveness bears a direct relationship to your UNDERSTANDING of love, but it doesn't have anything to do with love.  It impacts your opportunity to feel the influence of love.  It certainly goes hand and hand in ease with your willingness to stand naked to love.  However, the act of forgiving yourself or another is not a measure to the love available to you.  That love is ceaseless, unconditional and connected to each of us.  Our ability and capacity to love is an inherent gift, but the LOVE itself is a pure source that simply is.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Jill,

I don't know how many times I've written very similar words expressing the exact same concepts.  I learned long ago that forgiveness is for the person doing the forgiving and has nothing to do with the person being forgiven.  To me forgiveness frees me of the burden of pain, suffering, resentment and even hatred that without forgiveness boils up like poison in our hearts and souls.

Great words and I love the plug analogy too.  I've said so many times that holding a grudge or not forgiving someone gives our power over to whomever we feel has done us wrong and continues to give that other power over you until you let it go and forgive.

Blessings,
Cheryl

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Alex, in another thread, you asked, and I quote: who do we need to seek forgiveness from?

At a rudimentary level of development, there are those who have not yet reached a place where it even makes sense to forgive or be forgiven. At a more complex level of development, there are those who have reached a place where they no longer need to seek forgiveness. But I suspect that these groups lie on opposite ends of a bell curve. The majority in the middle will likely seek to be forgiven by the person most appropriate to their level of development: (1) from someone with the moral authority to grant a pardon; (2) from those whom they have hurt or harmed; or (3) from the one person whom they ultimately need to forgive: themselves.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Much thanks for this Christopher, not only did you expand my perspective on Forgiveness, you also taught me how to shift the discussion to back to the appropriate thread… very important for an inexperience moderator ;-)

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Osho: The Great Pilgrimage: From Here to Here, chapter 24

It is one of the most fundamental things to understand. People ordinarily think that forgiveness is for those who are worthy of it, who deserve it. But if somebody deserves, is worthy of forgiveness, it is not much of a forgiveness. You are not doing anything on your part; he deserves it. You are not really being love and compassion. Your forgiveness will be authentic only when even those who don’t deserve it receive it.

It is not a question of whether a person is worthy or not. The question is whether your heart is ready or not.

I am reminded of one of the most significant woman mystics, Rabiya al-Adabiya, a Sufi woman who was known for her very eccentric behavior. But in all her eccentric behavior there was a great insight. Once, another Sufi mystic Hasan was staying with Rabiya. Because he was going to stay with Rabiya, he had not brought his own holy Koran, which he used to read every morning as part of his discipline. He thought he could borrow Rabiya’s holy Koran, so he had not brought his own copy with him.

In the morning he asked Rabiya, and she gave him her copy. He could not believe his eyes. When he opened the Koran he saw something which no Mohammedan could believe: in many places Rabiya had corrected it. It is the greatest sin as far as Mohammedans are concerned; the Koran is the word of God according to them. How can you change it? How can you even think that you can make something better? Not only has she changed it, she has simply cut out a few words, a few lines — removed them.

Hasan said to her, “Rabiya, somebody has destroyed your Koran!” Rabiya said, “Don’t be stupid, nobody can touch my Koran. What you are looking at is my doing.” Hasan said, “But how could you do such a thing?” She said, “I had to do it, there was no way out. For example, look here: the Koran says, “When you see the devil, hate him.” Since I have become awakened I cannot find any hate within me. Even if the devil stands in front of me I can only shower him with my love, because I don’t have anything else left. It does not matter whether God stands in front of me, or the devil; both will receive the same love. All that I have is love; hate has disappeared. The moment hate disappeared from me I had to make changes in my book of the holy Koran. If you have not changed it, that simply means you have not arrived to the space where only love remains.”

I will say to you, the people who don’t deserve, the people who are unworthy, don’t make any difference to the man who has come to the space of forgiveness. He will forgive, irrespective of who receives it. He cannot be so miserly that only the worthy should receive it. And from where is he going to find unforgiveness? This is a totally different perspective. It does not concern itself with the other. Who are you to make the judgment whether the other is worthy or unworthy? The very judgment is ugly and mean.

I know Rudolph Hess is certainly one of the greatest criminals. And his crime becomes even a millionfold bigger, because in the Nuremburg trial with the remaining companions of Adolf Hitler — who killed almost eight million people in the second world war — he said in front of the court, “I don’t repent anything!” Not only that, he also said, “And if I could start from the very beginning, I would do the same thing again.” It is very natural to think this man is not worthy of forgiveness; that will be the common understanding. Everybody will agree with you.

But I cannot agree with you. It does not matter what Rudolf Hess has done, what he is saying. What matters is that you are capable of forgiving even him. That will raise your consciousness to the ultimate heights. If you cannot forgive Rudolf Hess you will remain just an ordinary human being, with all kinds of judgments of worthiness, of unworthiness. But basically you cannot forgive him because your forgiveness is not big enough.

I can forgive the whole world for the simple reason that my forgiveness is absolute; it is nonjudgmental. I will tell you a small Tibetan story which will make the point absolutely clear to you.

A great old master, worshiped by millions of people, refused to initiate anyone into disciplehood. His whole life, consistently, he was asked by kings, he was asked by very rich people, he was asked by great ascetics, saints, to be initiated as his disciples, and he went on refusing. He would always say, “Unless I find a man who deserves it, unless I find a man who is worthy of it…I am not going to initiate any Tom, Dick, Harry.”

He had a small young boy who used to cook food for him, wash his clothes, fetch vegetables from the market. The boy himself had become slowly, slowly old and for his whole life he had been listening to the old man, who had lived almost one hundred years, and without exception the denial: nobody is worthy! “I will die,” he said, “without initiating anyone, but I will not initiate anyone who is nondeserving.”

People became tired, frustrated. They loved the man, the man had immense qualities, but they could not understand his very stubborn attitude — no kindness, no compassion.

But one morning the old man woke up his companion, who himself had become old, and said to him, “Run immediately down the hills to the marketplace and tell everybody that whoever wants to be initiated must come soon, because this evening as the sun sets I am going to die.”

His companion said, “But what about worthiness? I don’t know who is worthy and who is not worthy. Who have I to bring?”

The old man said, “Don’t worry at all. It was only a device, because I myself was not worthy to initiate anyone, but it was against my dignity to say so. So I chose the other way round. I was saying, ‘Unless I find somebody worthy enough, deserving enough, I am not going to initiate.’ The truth is, I was not worthy to be a master. Now I am, but the time is very short. Only this morning as the sun was rising, my own consciousness has also risen to the ultimate peak. Now I am ready. Now it does not matter who is worthy and who is unworthy. What matters now is that I am worthy. Just go and fetch anybody! Just go and make the whole village aware that this is the last day of my life, and anybody who wants to be initiated should come immediately. Bring as many people as you can.”

The companion of the old man was at a loss, but there was no time to argue. He ran down the hill, reached the marketplace and shouted all over the village, “Anybody who wants to become a disciple, the old man is ready now.”

People could not believe it. But out of curiosity a few thought, “There is no harm at least to see what is going on.” The man had refused his whole life, and on the last day of his life suddenly such a great change. Somebody’s wife had died and he was feeling very lonely, so he thought, “It is good. If he is going to initiate everybody, no question of worthiness…” Somebody was released from jail just the night before; he thought, “Nobody is going to give me employment; this is a good chance to become a saint.”

All kinds of strange people went to the cave of the old man, and his companion was feeling so embarrassed at the kind of people he had brought: one is a criminal, one’s wife is dead, that’s why he thinks, “It is better…now, what else to do?” Somebody has gone bankrupt and was thinking to commit suicide; now he thinks that this is better than suicide.

A few had come just out of curiosity. They had no other work; they were playing jazz and they thought, “We can play jazz tomorrow, but today there is no harm, let us see what this initiation is. Anyway, that man is going to die by the evening so we will be free to remain disciples or not. We can play jazz tomorrow — there is no harm.”

The companion of the old man was feeling very embarrassed, “How will I present this strange lot when that old man has refused kings, saints, sages, who have come with deep earnestness to be initiated? And now he is going to initiate this gang!” He was even feeling ashamed, but he entered and asked, “Should I call the people? — eleven have come.”

The old man said, “Call them quickly, because it is already afternoon. You took so much time and you could fetch just eleven people?”

His companion said, “What can I do? It is a working day; it is not a holiday. I could only get these. All are absolutely useless; even I could not initiate them. Not only that they are not worthy — they are absolutely UNworthy. But you insisted to bring somebody; nobody else was available.”

The old man said, “There is no problem. Just bring them in.” And he initiated them all. Even they were shocked. And they said to the old man, “This is strange behavior. All your life you have insisted that one has to deserve to be a disciple. What happened to your principle?”

The old man laughed. He said, “That was not a principle, that was only to hide my own unworthiness. I was not yet in the position to be a master. And I cannot cheat anyone, I cannot deceive anyone; hence I have taken shelter behind a judgmental attitude, that unless you are worthy, you will not get initiation.”

Obviously nobody is worthy.

Everybody has his own flaws, weaknesses; everybody has done things that he never wanted to do. Everybody has gone astray. Nobody can say that he is absolutely pure; everybody is polluted. So when the old man insisted, “Unless you are worthy don’t come back to me,” nobody argued with him; he was right. First they have to be worthy!

On the last day, he said to those eleven disciples, “I bless you and initiate you. It doesn’t matter whether you are worthy or not, but for the first time I am worthy. And if I am really worthy, just my presence is going to purify you. My worthiness of being a master is going to make you a worthy disciple. Now I don’t have to depend on your worthiness. My worthiness is enough.

“I am just like a rain cloud; I will shower all over the place — on the mountains, on the streets, on the houses, in the farms, in the gardens. I will shower everywhere, because I am too burdened with my rainwater. It does not matter whether the garden deserves…I don’t even make any distinction between the garden and the rocks. I will simply shower out of my abundance.”

If your meditations bring you to the state of a rain cloud, you will forgive without any judgment out of your abundance, out of your love, out of your compassion.

In fact I would like to make the statement that the man who is unworthy deserves more than the man who is worthy. The man who does not deserve, deserves more, because he is so poor; don’t be hard upon him. Life has been hard upon him. He has gone astray; he has suffered because of his wrong doings. Now don’t you be hard on him. He needs more love than those who are deserving; he needs more forgiveness than those who are worthy. This should be the only approach of a religious heart.

Your question was raised before Gautam Buddha, because he was going to initiate a murderer into sannyas — and the murderer was no ordinary murderer. Rudolf Hess is nothing compared to him. His name was Angulimal. Angulimal means a man who wears a garland of human fingers.

He had taken a vow that he would kill one thousand people; from each single person he would take one finger so that he could remember how many he had killed and he will make a garland of all those fingers. In his garland of fingers he had nine hundred and ninety-nine fingers — only one was missing. And that one was missing because his road was closed; nobody was coming that way. But Gautam Buddha entered that closed road. The king had put guards on the road to prevent people, particularly strangers who didn’t know that a dangerous man lived behind the hills. The guards told Gautam Buddha, “That is not the road to be used. You will have to take a little longer route, but it is better to go a little longer than to go into the mouth of death itself. This is the place where Angulimal lives. Even the king has not the guts to go on this road. That man is simply mad.

“His mother used to go to him. She was the only person who used to go, once in a while, to see him, but even she stopped. The last time she went there he told her, `Now only one finger is missing, and just because you happen to be my mother…I want to warn you that if you come another time you will not go back. I need one finger desperately. Up to now I have not killed you because other people were available, but now nobody passes on this road except you. So I want to make you aware that next time if you come it will be your responsibility, not mine.’ Since that time his mother has not come.”

The guards said to Buddha, “Don’t unnecessarily take the risk.” And do you know what Buddha said to them? Buddha said, “If I don’t go then who will go? Only two things are possible: either I will change him, and I cannot miss this challenge; or I will provide him with one finger so that his desire is fulfilled. Anyway I am going to die one day. Giving my head to Angulimal will be at least of some use; otherwise one day I will die and you will put me on the funeral pyre. I think that it is better to fulfill somebody’s desire and give him peace of mind. Either he will kill me or I will kill him, but this encounter is going to happen; you just lead the way.”

The people who used to follow Gautam Buddha, his close companions who were always in competition to be closer to him, started slowing down. Soon there were miles between Gautam Buddha and his disciples. They all wanted to see what happened, but they didn’t want to be too close.

Angulimal was sitting on his rock watching. He could not believe his eyes. A very beautiful man of such immense charisma was coming towards him. Who could this man be? He had never heard of Gautam Buddha, but even this hard heart of Angulimal started feeling a certain softness towards the man. He was looking so beautiful, coming towards him. It was early morning…a cool breeze, and the sun was rising…and the birds were singing and the flowers had opened; and Buddha was coming closer and closer.

Finally Angulimal, with his naked sword in his hand, shouted, “Stop!” Gautam Buddha was just a few feet away, and Angulimal said, “Don’t take another step because then the responsibility will not be mine. Perhaps you don’t know who I am!”

Buddha said, “Do you know who you are?”

Angulimal said, “This is not the point. Neither is it the place nor the time to discuss such things. Your life is in danger!”

Buddha said, “I think otherwise — your life is in danger.”

That man said, “I used to think I was mad — you are simply mad. And you go on moving closer. Then don’t say that I killed an innocent man. You look so innocent and so beautiful that I want you to go back. I will find somebody else. I can wait; there is no hurry. If I can manage nine hundred and ninety-nine…it is only a question of one more, but don’t force me to kill YOU.”

Buddha said, “You are absolutely blind. You can’t see a simple thing: I am not moving towards you, you are moving towards me.”

Angulimal said, “This is sheer craziness! Anybody can see that you are moving and I am standing on my rock. I have not moved a single inch.”

Buddha said, “Nonsense! The truth is, since the day I became enlightened I have not moved a single inch. I am centered, utterly centered, no movement. And your mind is continuously moving round and round in circles…and you have the guts to tell to me to stop. You stop! I have stopped long ago.”

Angulimal said, “It seems you are impossible, you are incurable. You are bound to be killed. I will feel sorry, but what can I do? I have never seen such a mad man.”

Buddha came very close, and Angulimal’s hands were trembling. The man was so beautiful, so innocent, so childlike. He had already fallen in love. He had killed so many people…. He had never felt this weakness; he had never known what love is. For the first time he was full of love. So there was a contradiction: the hand was holding the sword to kill the person, and his heart was saying, “Put the sword back in the sheath.”

Buddha said, “I am ready, but why is your hand shaking? — you are such a great warrior, even kings are afraid of you, and I am just a poor beggar. Except the begging bowl, I don’t have anything. You can kill me, and I will feel immensely satisfied that at least my death fulfills somebody’s desire; my life has been useful, my death has also been useful. But before you cut my head I have a small desire, and I think you will grant me a small desire before killing me.”

Before death even the hardest enemy is willing to fulfill any desire.

Angulimal said, “What do you want?”

Buddha said, “I want you just to cut from the tree a branch which is full of flowers. I will never see these flowers again; I want to see those flowers closely, feel their fragrance and their beauty in this morning sun, their glory.”

So Angulimal cut with his sword a whole branch full of flowers. And before he could give it to Buddha, Buddha said, “This was only half the desire; the other half is, please put the branch back on the tree.”

Angulimal said, “I was thinking from the very beginning that you are crazy. Now this is the craziest desire. How can I put this branch back?”

Buddha said, “If you cannot create, you have no right to destroy. If you cannot give life, you don’t have the right to give death to any living thing.”

A moment of silence and a moment of transformation…the sword fell down from his hands. Angulimal fell down at the feet of Gautam Buddha, and he said, “I don’t know who you are, but whoever you are, take me to the same space in which you are; initiate me.”

By that time the followers of Gautam Buddha had come closer and closer. Seeing that now Gautam Buddha was standing in front of Angulimal, there was no problem, no fear, although he needed only one finger. They were all around and when he fell at Buddha’s feet they immediately came close. Somebody raised the question, “Don’t initiate this man, he is a murderer. And he is not an ordinary murderer; he has murdered nine hundred and ninety-nine people, all innocent, all strangers. They have not done any wrong to him. He had not even seen them before!”

Buddha said again, “If I don’t initiate him, who will initiate him? And I love the man, I love his courage. And I can see tremendous possibility in him: a single man fighting against the whole world. I want this kind of people, who can stand against the whole world. Up to now he was standing against the world with a sword; now he will stand against the world with a consciousness which is far sharper than any sword. I told you that murder was going to happen, but it was not certain who was going to be murdered — either I was going to be murdered, or Angulimal. Now you can see Angulimal is murdered. And who I am to judge?”

He initiated Angulimal.

The question is not whether anybody is worthy or not. The question is whether you have the consciousness, the abundance of love — then forgiveness will come out of it spontaneously. It is not a calculation, it is not arithmetic.

Life is love, and living a life of love is the only religious life, the only life of prayer, peace, the only life of gratitude, grandeur, splendor.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

…………………….. We need a long meditation on these words of Osho. Thanks Alex.

Many times I experienced the power of forgiveness and love towards those who I didn't felt love and forgiveness automatically.

This has had a magic power on me. At work or in private life, I saw many times how hate or anger had effect on me and on my energy. So for many of these times I radiate my love for the wholeness, covering these people eventually, and immediately watch the positive impact  on me (a kind of release), impact on them (kind of showing positive side of themselves), on the day and the rest.

You must have experienced it for your self. 

Metta, Bilgi

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

And one more thing:

As soon as I fill my heart with love, I realize that there is no room for anger and hate. So automatically the need for forgiveness disappears .

So exercicing to fill the heart with love is the best thing to start with to forgive.  Metta, Bilgi

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By the way, Forgiveness is one way to create Space… …

Forgiveness gives closure to our Past & clear the Space for a Future filled with Possibilities.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Every waking moment gives me a chance to answer five questions: who can I be? what can I do? when can I have? where can I go? and why? Holding on to any feeling that separates me from another, or from others, makes me incapable of responding freshly to these questions, which in turn limits my capacity to manifest my most cherished desires.

In this lusty moment, could I allow myself to release any sense of wanting control (and just allow myself to have it?). In this needy moment, could I allow myself to release any sense of wanting approval (and just allow myself to have it?). In this scary moment, could I allow myself to release any sense of wanting safety or security (and just allow myself to have it?).

Could I allow myself to clear a space for a future filled with promise and possibility?

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart… Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.
-Hannah More

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When one has the wisdom & compassion to forgive, forgetting becomes irrelevant as there is no longer a need to forget.

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I keep coming back to this board and this topic.  I think so many amazing things have been said here.

I have noticed in others and certainly in me…. a desire to jump to forgiveness to avoid feeling whatever has come up around a situation.  To honor and hold what feelings have been present - without creating a story around it (such as “I'm never respected by this person”) and simply hold with both the feelings that have come up and also allowed them to be transient and ebb and flow.  I think - for me - when I am able to do this, my forgiveness is honest and real and unwavering.
When I haven't done this and I jump over honoring my own feelings or shut them down with the need to get past things…. it keeps coming up again over and over.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

recently I was tested on this issue, last year some time, there was a hippie on our street who needed to tell me how it was over and over. he came to our house and started in on my telling me what I needed to change about me.

not cool in my temple, my home, my peace. finally after about 2 minutes of this superior guru attitude, I put my hands on my knees, and pushed myself up. letting him know he was done for the night and escorted him to the door.

just a couple of months ago this individual came up to me in a very humble spirit, and told me how sorry he was and asked specifically for my forgiveness. I looked him straight in the eye and said your forgiven. then he said I can't undo the past, I said you can only prevent it in the future.

He told me that he was humbled that day, and learned a valuable lesson, to not dip spiritualy where it isn't needed or wanted. I told him I won't hold a grudge, and gave him permission to move on.

I could have told him to get the hell away from me, but what would that accomplish? probably won't call him up to go out for a drink, but hey at least I can be peaceful on the street. keeping him there of course. :)

peace and forgiveness.
ww

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

What is Ren

Ren (tolerance-forebearance) is the key to improve ones heart-mind nature (xinxing). To endure with hatred, grievances or tears is the Ren of an ordinary person who is attached to his misgivings. To bear without any hatred or grievances at all is the Ren of a practitioner(spiritual aspirant).

Li Hongzhi-Essentials for Further Advances-

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Dear Brother White Wolf,

I think you handled it excellently.  Resistence is only met by resistence.  You did not protest.  You did not resist.  You only demonstrated what you would allow to happen and what you would not allow to happen.

It is often forgotten by us human beings that no one can take advantage of us without our permission and in this case you simply would not give your permission to be judged.

Blessings,
Cheryl

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

I couldn't have said it better myself Alex.  Good on ya mate!

Blessings,
Cheryl

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

The very wise practice you highlight here is actually a corollary of the law of attraction.  Since the law of attraction tells us that you get what you think about, this tribe was wise enough to realize that if someone has done wrong the cure is to get everyone concentrating on what they've done right, not what they've done wrong.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

My friend and mentor Dr. Sheri Rosenthal and another woman she knows are starting a project on forgiveness, which begins tomorrow, Sept. 11. 

For more info,
http://www.withforgiveness.com/

Nicholas

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Awww! <happy tears>

That is such a beautiful way to heal! Illusions, fear shame and guilt are left out of the conversation, giving these parasites no power. As for the angel who brings this gift, they are blessed with the opportunity to remember who they are.

I'm crying a little now, this makes so much sense. Mother Teresa said “Stand for something and against nothing” I think she knew what she was talking about.

Forgiveness, let go of pain, keep myself. Such a perfect idea, can be so tough to remember in a pinch!

Yesterday was September 11, I heard lots of remembering on the radio, but not much forgiveness, I cried. As the Creator of my Universe, and King of my Reality, I hereby declare Sept. 11 as 'Forgiveness is Power Day!

From now on, I will use this day to fnd anyone who I've left outside my heart and I will GET OFF IT!!! 

YAY!!!

Now I'm giggling, that makes me feel good!

On Sept. 11th I forgave:

Lura, my former landlady.
Christine, my ex-fiance
Joe, my ex biz partner
George W.

Now it's time to go out and play!!  :-D

=^.^=

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

When I find myself in bad mood because of somebody, I think I should forgive him or her for my own goodness. If I do not forgive someone, ıt means that I will have expectation from him or her which will possisbly never be fullfilled. When I cannot get what I expect, it creates hate within me. As a result, I always prefer and try to forgive . 

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

“        “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” ~ Mark Twain

Forgiveness is like the fragrance a flower shares with the person whose foot crashed it. A flower is more than its form. A flower includes its fragrance, which returns into the flow of nature just like its form. Similarly, it is only by releasing our attention and energy from the past that we can reconnect with our spirit, tap into the flow of the Universe and participate fully in the present.

Just beneath the surface of the water, Forgiveness is about letting go of negative emotions arising from memories of our experiences. It is about being compassionate and expressing empathy so that our negative experiences no longer cloud our vision.

With compassion, we love everyone and anyone unconditionally, without judgment or attachment.

Deep down, Forgiveness is about releasing our attachments to our history. This comes with the realization that we have the choice to co-create our identity every moment in the present. Forgiveness about going Beyond Possibilities… giving up whom we were for the possibilities of who can choose to become.

P.S. Is there a need to hold a grudge or resentment in order to learn the lesson?

“If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi”   Alex

Wow Alex………..that was a mouthful!  Best description of Forgiveness I have heard.

Heidi

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Yeah, it's really great to forgive. When we forgive we release love to other people. We also let them them know how beautiful it is to live without hatred.

There are times we find it difficult to do.. but, step by step, as our heart learn to love the person not only because of his atitude but of his humanity, we will learn to understand him.

I remember what Jesus said, “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.”

Loving “those” people does'nt mean that we will also love their bad attitudes. Even they act in different way, we must still love them and learned to forgive them as God forgives us everytime we commit sin and ask forgiveness from him.

Let us love “those” person not to tolerate their wrong deeds, but to be a good example to them. In little ways, “who knows?” by our ways, they may realized thta it is already time for them to be changed.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Though Jesus is not my main man we are friends and he is right on the forgivness issue.  I add one more thing to my prayer for those I resent and I pray for them to have everything I want out of life.  Though it is hard I do it and after a while it works.  Also writing an account of why I resent them helps me to look at my part in the situation.
I don't have much time for resentment.  And as said earlier it takes up too much space.  A resentment only hurts me because the definition of resentment is feeling the same feelings over and over again.  The person I need to forgive is not feeling those feelings.  For me forgivness is more a personal thing because I am not harming the other by not doing it, I am only harming myself.
Peace and Love my Friends!
a

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Forgiveness opened the door to everything for me and I have learned a great deal about forgiveness. It is not just a word, as soon as a person hears it they think about something they have to do. It really is something they have to do; when we get a feeling that we have to do something we do it. But when it is something we need to do with the past then no way. If a person only knew how much energy that they use in storing something up from the past they would have no problem with forgiveness. I give an example as stretching a rubber band, as you stretch it, it gets weaker and weaker. When you let go then it is strong again. But if you keep on stretching it the rubber band will break. Could it be that Jesus forgave because living in the past is dying in the present?

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

What a beautiful way to express the value of forgiveness, Don. One thing I learned from “A Course in Miracles” is the power of “the atonement”/ forgiveness. Whenever I make a point to apply forgiveness, I find that it is empowering, and does permit you to live in the present.

Namaste to everyone in this very interesting discussion!
Christal

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

     Yes Christal, forgiveness opened the door and I have learn that it was only the beginning.  Forgiveness will empower you and will carry you to the other side.  I am a healer and from the start I was never satisfied with just being a healer.  I never asked to be a healer, if I did I was unaware of what I was asking for.  I wanted to know why I was never happy and what would make me happy.  I knew I did not want to try anything I had already tried.  And that's when I was lead to learn about forgiveness. 
     As a healer I wanted to learn more about healers.  I did not understand why they could heal others but not their self and why they had to die. I believe that a healer is someone who starts to heal their self and while theyare healing they discover that they have power to heal others.  When they believe they are a healer to heal others they forget about healing their self and start doing what they were doing all their life - trying to change everybody but their self.  Most healers believe an exchange has to take place so they charge for their service but what they are not seeing is that an exchange is taking place, that others are coming to give them what they need.
   
                          Your friend, Don

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

We human beings often forget that we are all divine and that there are no 'bad' people…just good people who have become lost to their highest self.

Blessings,
Cher

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

the accusing ego may allow

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Pardoning x Accepting by Paulo Coelho

A Warrior of Light always keeps his heart clean of the sentiment of hate. To do so, he needs to pardon.
When he walks to a fight, he never forgets Christ’s words: “love your enemies.”
And the warrior obeys, but always remembers that Christ did not say: “like your enemies.”
The act of pardoning does not oblige him to accept everything. A warrior must not lower his head, otherwise he loses sight of the horizon of his dreams.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

WITH Forgiveness Movie

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

This is some personal experiences and also is in my book.

      

LEARNING TO BE STILL AND LET IT BE

One thing I had learned from Lonnie was how to share with somebody. Lonnie never did say, “I disagree with you, you are wrong.” Lonnie said to me one day, “Are you sure that's right?” And I said, “Yes,” and Lonnie just nodded his head up and down and never said a word. When I walked away I heard a small voice say to me, “Are you sure you are right and not Lonnie?” And I would see that I was not the one that was right, Lonnie was, and I went back and told him he was right and I was wrong.

What a lesson I had learned. Lonnie not having to be right made me see I was wrong and I learned. Lonnie said, “We don't have to be right. If we don't say we are right, it does not mean we are wrong.” Lonnie taught me that if we let it be then God can take care of it. But if we don't let it be then we can only mess it up.

I did not use what I had learned from Lonnie until months after I was released. It happened one day when I was in the kitchen with a friend. She said something to me, wanting to release some anger. I could feel her anger and thought about what I was going to say back to her and decided she would not like to hear what I had to say. Then I heard a small voice say, “Don't say anything then.” Well, I just looked out the window at the trees and she thought I was thinking about what to say. She did not know I was done thinking and that I was ‘being still,' not so much still in my body but still in my mind. I was not thinking anything. A few minutes passed and she spoke and said, “I don't think I should have said that.” I was amazed! I still kept looking out the window and didn't think anything for a few more minutes and she spoke again and said, “I know I should not have said what I said. I am sorry.”

The problem came up and it was handled in such a way that was so wonderful. It was handled by me being still. By me doing nothing, God did everything! Like Lonnie taught me, if you let it be then God can take care of it. “…the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works.” (John 14:10)
     What had happened here was I did not give power to something I did not want, by not opposing the thing I did not want, IT WENT AWAY ! like the Buddhist say , take what is good for you and leave the rest, I've come a long way with this one. I think it would be wonderful if people would learn to only go after the thing they want and leave the things they don't want alone. I have found that sometimes the reason I cannot be still was because the thing that I did not like was in me. I think if I don't change anybody but myself, I am doing a great deal in helping the world.  Your Friend,Don

ACTIONS AND REACTIONS

This is one of my personal experiences I had while in prison, it is about how a situation was transform by acting and reacting from my heart… 

One night I was on the phone talking to my son, and while I was talking I watched other men walk up to the entranceway to the restroom and there was another man sitting on the three-foot wall that went through the restroom. He was at the front of the entrance and when someone would walk up, the man sitting on the wall would look at him with a mean look on his face. When they saw his face they were afraid and would turn and walk away and not enter the restroom. The man on the wall was angry and he was a homosexual. He was the nicest man that there could be, but when he wanted to or when he wasn't feeling nice he was the meanest and baddest man in the unit. These men were so afraid that they would change their mind about going to the restroom.

When I got off the phone, I walked over and sat down beside this mad man, or this nice man who thought he was a mad man. He turned and looked at me and what a face! It looked like a pressure cooker that could explode at any time. I knew he was not a pressure cooker, so I said, “What's up, man?” He said, “I'm mad!” I saw through him and I said, “I know you are. What made you mad? Maybe I can help you.” He said, “They made me mad and I am going to whip them.” I said, “I'll help you. Who are they?” He said, “The guards.” I said, “Man, the guards…I know you can whip some guards and I can too, but, man, we will not win in the end, and I don't want to see you get hurt because you are too nice of a person and you don't deserve it. How did they make you mad?” And he went on with the story about how they made him mad. I told him I would not let the guards know they made me mad. I was trying to tell him in a nice way that the only way he could be mad was to feed the thought: “I am mad, they made me mad…” Then I just sat and listened to him, really listened to him. As he talked about it I could see the pressure being released. The next thing I knew the nice man was back and we were sitting there talking and laughing and smiling. We walked into the barracks and the other men did not know what to think about what had just happened.

What an experience this was for me. I was learning to see through people and see the real person. See anger for what it really is and not to accept things the way they appear unless it's what I want. In the New Testament it says “Judge not by appearances…” (John 7:24) Paul wrote “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind,” (2 Timothy 1:7) Now this man was full of fear, but I refused to see him as fear: instead I saw him as a loving being, and this is what got off the wall and walked away, leaving the fearful being sitting on the wall.

Most people will turn and run the other way when they see a man that is hurting or angry. The only man you will see going up to a mad man is another mad man. People run around talking about God, how God created everything, even the devil. How God has power over the devil and the devil cannot hurt you unless you allow him to, and then every time they think they see the devil, they run the other way. My question is, if a person really believes in God, can he run from the devil?

I think my problem was in believing that there was a devil and that the devil was real! I told myself that I believed in God and God was real, but really I didn't believe it-I was only talking about God. What has awakened me is that today I know God is real and the devil is not. Today I believe in God. God created man, the devil did not create man. It is man that creates the devil.

This man was hurting and needed help; he was in pain, his world was falling in on top of him. He needed somebody to listen to him and talk to him, somebody that knew how to reach out to help another. My part was mostly to be still and allow the reaction to come from inside. If we want to grow spiritually we have to start doing what we learn. Learning does not mean a thing unless you apply what you are learning to your everyday life. Practice what you preach; practice what you have learned. If a man goes to college for 10 years to learn to be a professional, he is not a professional until he opens an office and starts doing what he learned to do. Unless he practices what he has learned he will never become what he learned to be. Many people do this, go through college and get out and decide they don't want to do what they learned and they do something else. Many only do what they learned and never learn anything else-only what somebody else has learned. And some, like Lonnie, go on to learn more on their own and then share it with others that want to learn. Lonnie was the only man I met in prison who was really using love and sharing it, not just telling about it. He was doing to others what he wanted to be done to him. Lonnie was living a life different from the rest, but he never joined them; he kept on going his way. He taught people not to follow others but to follow your heart and you will know you are going in the right direction. This is what I did and am still doing.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Came across a very beautiful quotation on forgiveness today… …

“Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.” ~ Dag Hammarskjold

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

As a mom, this is so clear to me.  Thank you for posting it.

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Alex this quote is so sychronous for me. 

Just last night I was wondering…what if each and every being woke up tomorrow morning and decided to begin life anew with no baggage from the past and no anxiety about the future but only a brand new fresh chance to be a connected, loving, compassionate, generous, emotionally healthy being?  Better yet what if in addition to that every other being 'allowed' it to be without judgement about past choices but only taking everyone at face value based on what they are doing right now at this moment.

What a vision!

Blessings,
Cheryl

Re: The Law of Forgiveness

Forgiveness implies there is a position of “right” and “wrong”, doesn't it? But perspective is relative. For instance, when I was a kid my parents disallowed many things which I felt at the time were unfair (ie a position to forgive). However 15+ years later, (and as a new parent of 4 weeks), my understanding is they did it for my “wellbeing”. So the situation stayed the same but the perspective changed.

Therefore that's when the Law of Relativity kicks in. As mathmatically demonstrated by Einstein.

These concepts are respective of the observer. I think its fantastic if we can forgive but do we know the total situation or the relative one?

Some of these concepts are being discussed here.