Privacy on Gaia

• How do you ensure privacy on Gaia? What steps do you take to ensure that some aspects of your off-line life are kept out of the community?
• Has this changed as you have stayed on, in Gaia?

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Kathy/ ~KES,, you made an important point; that till a person feels safe and comfortable, they will not want to share their real name perhaps; or where they live, or their photos and so on. There is so much information about identity theft, stalkers and so on; and not only children, but anyone who feels vulnerable can feel/ be a target.

So, it is a balance between wanting to connect with strangers who we feel vibe with us, on one hand; and wanting to ensure that it is comfortable in the ways you mention, on the other.

As we interact, that balance will keep changing, and I think on Gaia most of the time, I do see that people move towards openness. I do also see that there are those who feel uncomfortable, and leave for good; and others who come back with a different identity, and let some of their friends know they are doing so.

So, a large part of the privacy issue, for each member  is: do I know who I am speaking to?  If I am open more or less than I am,  how mcuh should I share, and how much should I hide?

Who is behind an icon that is not their face?  Can those who see my icon know what i am conveying by that? [I had suggested this question in the Think Tank, and i think it was a A&R once; and we also discussed it in our 50*-stars group]

The only way, is to allow our inner knowing to come forth. A blend of psychological knowledge, intuition, worldly wisdom, cultural relativism, and everything we can bring to the table.

To me it seems inescapable that this is what we are doing, whether or not we are aware. So, as we are interacting, feeling or giving love, attacking, disagreeing, or caring–we are growing in ways we will only know with the passage of time.

And in this group, we will continue to share, discuss and use  tips to do so.

Re: Privacy on Gaia

I am still new here so bear with me.
I am really enjoying reading the posts on Gaia. It seems like a good community to belong to and it seems to have a positive vibe to it which I find a refreshing change.
I think though that people in general need to be careful on any internet site. There is a lot of potential for abuse anywhere on the internet. There is no way for you to know who you are talking to or who is reading your posts anywhere.
I generally try to be as careful as I can especially when meeting new people. It can be a positive experience or not. I like the fact that you can share your views with others especially if you are in a situation where you cannot do this typically.
I know from experience when you take it to the level of meeting a stranger online for example it can be very dangerous to do so. I don't care who they say they are.
I had a friend who started chatting with a guy online because she was trying to do the online dating thing. She chatted with him for a long time before she decided that she wanted to meet him. She even took precautions or what she thought would be good precautions. Anyway to make a long story short. The guy she was supposed to go out with was arrested right before they were supposed to meet. He was actully getting women to meet him offline and killing them and stuffing their bodies in barrels. ( Very True Story) She is a very lucky woman.
You can never be too careful. I do not meet anyone online or share info with them unless I know them personally. I wouldn't suggesst meeting anyone unless you plan to meet them with a large group of friends with you. Like I said before I don't care who they say they are.

Re: Privacy on Gaia

I was thinking about this issue, as it has come up a bit lately around Gaia, and found it had already been written about some months ago here.  I hope you all won't mind my reviving an old thread and talking about this a bit.

I was new to social networking when I came to Zaadz, now Gaia, so when I signed up I really didn't chose my user name with privacy in mind.  There have been times when I have questioned it but it is who I am here now and I've discovered people read it in all kinds of different and funny ways.  I'm not one to hide much and I do believe much abuse can come also from the hiding by some people.  Still, things happen along the way, and one wonders, if they should be so open.

I've been pretty protective of my kids on-line but after some requests, did put some photos up.  Other people with kids at times wish to see that but I have mixed feelings about it.  I've put my MIL too because I'm proud of knowing her and talk about her from time to time.  I would not put my husband because he doesn't do social networking and is an intensely private person.  With my kids, I've used their names and ages but where we live feels safe enough for that.  A stranger showing up around here would get alot of notice from those who belong here.

It's a hard thing to balance.  I would do less in a group like Facebook or Myspace that is so large and open.  Gaia feels different to me, a different quality of person for the most part.  I've had a few that didn't feel right.  Some friendships that really didn't make sense and so I removed them.  Some requests for financial assistance which I simply don't do.  This is not the place for it.  I recently reported someone to Siona because its financial that feels predatory, though I haven't closed the door to the person but try to gently guide them to another way.  That's just the kind of person I am but I was concerned enough that someone might “fall” for the line to report it to Siona.

I will though purchase CDs and books and T-shirts to be supportive.  These are small amounts of money and it is my choice to do so but does often require revealing sensitive information about address, phone and banking and/or credit card.

There are some here who make a point of running around and meeting other Gaians or talking to them on the phone.  I let my first friend, a young woman, stay in my home over the weekend as she traveled cross country.  I was mentoring her but that was difficult to integrate in for that is not normal in my home.  I had gotten to know her well and so, it did work out and she was well liked by all my family.

I have talked to a couple of women my age and it has been appropriate and under my control as was speaking with a young man.  I tightly control when such calls occur and do the dialing myself because it would invade my family's privacy if I did not do it that way.

I think one can not be too careful but one need not live in fear of being authentic, of connecting, of supporting but the context of the situation and the quality of the person, must and should be considered.  There have been people here, even in the bossom of Gaia that feels so safe, who have had hidden agendas that became abusive.  I do quickly report spam without responding but when I'm lured in a bit more carefully with acceptable behavior and it turns “scary”, I don't hesitate to at least report.  Even if the response is no response or no action, the number of reports may eventually “remove” a mild or minor threat to the safety of our community.

If it doesn't “feel” right, it probably isn't.  Never ignore a nagging fear or discomfort.

Deb

Re: Privacy on Gaia

I used to be very shy, I would use a nickname, wouldn't give out anything about myself, my family, where I lived etc.
Consequently, I could not be myself.
After a while and after I become to know myself better and learnt about trust, belief, love etc. I tore down the barriers, and shew the world who I really was/am.
I don't give out my home address except by pm to those I trust, nor my landline number.
But the rest you see is me :)
Love mia xxx

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Hi mia,

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Thank you Kes!
That surprised me! lol
Love mia xx

Re: Privacy on Gaia

I would like to add,
I don't watch news on tv,
I never buy a newspaper or magazine.
I only watch comedies or a programme I know will be uplifting or educational for me.
I never watch horror films, detectiveor crime cases etc
I find if there is any world or local news I need to know about, I will be informed somehow :)
Love mia xx

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Hi all,

I find privacy on the web very important and am always a little shocked to find so many people displaying their full names in internet communites like Facebook or the German studivz, MySpace and also Gaia. I have decided never to use my full name on the net. When someone googles my name, they will only see links to my employer's page that contains my profile and to other people by the same name. I prefer it that way. I'm also not listed in a telephone directory. If someone wants to contact me, they'll find a way and several long-lost friends have actually found ways to seek me out.

However, I have always felt relatively safe on Zaadz/Gaia mainly because most members are American, live in the States and thus, I would think, are less likely to turn up on my door step if I revealed personal information to them. While I try not to be too specific about my hometown in Germany on my profile page, I certainly don't mind mentioning where I currently live.

As for my friends' privacy, I try to obey it by not mentioning names of friends and relatives and even though I have posted some pics that show me with friends, I try to minimize posting friends'/family pictures usually.

In the beginning I have been very cautious as to what personal information I reveal in PMs to fellow Gaians but I have to admit that I've become much more open as I got more acquainted with Gaia and felt more at home here.

Funnily, what I'm worried about most is that someone who knows me in real life finds me here as I consider Gaia my thing here in the online world that I would rather not share with my real life friends. Not because I'm any different from what I am in real life but rather because I am so open and real on Gaia. And I'm rather self-conscious about the way I write (esp in my blog) so I guess I wouldn't want my friends and family to read it. They can find me on Facebook and connect with me there.

I have made my profile non-accessible for non-Gaians.

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Jenny, 
So where does your fear lie? Do you understand that your fear causes you to attract that wish you fear… 
Yes there is safety here, more or less but if someone really really wants to find you (us) they will and can… 

I have been very open on all my sites and here for business reasons and well as emotional spiritual reason… 

I hear your voice and feel your concern. 

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Well, maybe “fear” was too strong a word. It's just that I consider Gaia “my thing”. Actually, my friends aren't really into online communities much (only Facebook and more “superficial” ones for the sake of staying in touch). And I certainly wouldn't mind if they “found” me here. I wouldn't mind meeting fellow Gaians in the real world either. It's just that I enjoy the fact that here I can be open and sharing among strangers in a community separated from the “community” I am open and sharing with in the real world.

I didn't understand that attracting the wish I fear stuff but as I said, I'm not overly protective about my privacy here, I have right from the beginning posted my picture as an icon and I'm using my real name (not full name though), too. So of course, if a friend or acqaintance found their way to Gaia, they would find me and that's ok. It's not like I do post anything here that I would hide from people in the real world. It's just that there is a lot of private information esp in my blog that I feel I'd rather wanted to share in a private conversation with a good friend instead of posting it on the net.

Re: Privacy on Gaia

It's interesting to read how you  handle privacy,Jenny. There's always a balance we've to strike between being open and private, and I'm glad you've found yours.  I've found my own balance change as time goes on. It's great that we have ways of keeping things private if we need to.

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Well, yes, who knows, my balance might change, too, over time. I guess it's a process and I'm also thinking that we are the first generations to be confronted with having to worry about privacy in online communities and on the internet so experience over the years will most probably teach us one thing or the other.

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Ah, just seeing Jeff's post - no wonder mine took so long to post!

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Jenny, true, we're the forerunners of net communities and when I look at kids I'm amazed at how much more open they are - actually not amazed, more protective and trying to both show them the positives and negatives as I perceive them, and learning from them.

This resonates:”It's just that I enjoy the fact that here I can be open and sharing among strangers in a community separated from the “community” I am open and sharing with in the real world.”

Sometimes the community in skin life is not as real as the one online. Sometimes they see us [and we see them] as we are superficially, and we're stuck to each others' first impressions; whereas here we connect at the ideas and thought level.

btw, that's what i enjoy also, as a foreigner - it's easier to be just who you want to be[ though whatever I am, people will think: “Indians are like this”]- ok, that's another story. [want to head over to World Heritage Society?]

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Jenny, Kes, Meenakshi. 

There is something else going on in this discussion other then the discussion of privacy, there is a discussion about how we show up on different sites, compared with this one, as well as how we present ourselves in “skin life” to those around us, family, friends, and community in general… 

The reason I came to Gaia and sought out other “community” was to be inspired, heard, challenged, inspiring, etc to those around me. Not closed down, not ignored, not misunderstood yet we take that risk once we move away from the thinking of the material world and enter and walk and talk the spiritual world…

There are a group of us on Face Book who have faced the level of vibration there to something more then surface, but you can still choose that too. Face Book as also allowed me to connect to my “skin community” that I would not be able to do in the community… 

Thank you everyone for sharing. Great stuff! 

I am Love, Jeff

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Good point on FaceBook.  I think taking the time and nurturing a group as you have will prove rewarding. I don't think its cool at all when we are working so hard to build this site that we have to promote going to a new platform to say the same things here… why not copy/paste since that is the new hip club to hang.  

I have had ups and downs with the FB group but can see that making a decision to put order into where disorder may have been will help bring about order & a deeper conversation with the bonus of meeting someone from that network too.  Even the Gaia Team is there on FB which did confuse me at first, and reading blogs here…This blog explains some of the phenomenon.  And this group discussed it thoroughly.  We can splurge on creating more here on Gaia… just keep on communicating and helping come to solutions for what is needed more from Gaia too and we will implement new actions over here too.  I still think we should build this community. It is a contagion of aberration to promote one and cut down the others and have others follow to the new place when before this social fickle many were doing just fine here.  Why not build our home here too?

Re: Privacy on Gaia

I've seen many privacy policies on the web because I have built a few sites and I've never yet taken the time to read Gaia's privacy policy until I skimmed it just now.

Gaia Privacy Policy

It really is a lovely privacy policy, with some terms of use thrown in too. It sounds just like Brian (that's Brian Johnson, creator of Zaadz); conversational first, then the plunge into the legal small print. It covers everything. With all the words usually on these legal documents, the first two Brian-esque statements that sum it all up are “Be your highest self” and “Don't be anyone else.”

That's how I operate on Gaia. I trust that the people I encounter are being themselves and not pretending to be someone else. The red flags to indicate that someone is not who they make themselves out to be are profiles that have no information posted on them. Empty blog pages, no photos. Strange nicknames that don't spell anything. (this is very prevalent on Twitter)

Now, it's a given that there may be a bad egg in a group this large. That bad egg may even try to interact with me online. If I ever feel threatened, which as never ever happened to ME here on Gaia in 4 years, I'd have a complete support system to turn to. The Gaia support/development team and ambassadors are extremely willing to enforce the rights of each member, especially if there is some kind of threat observed.

I've gone to Gaia community parties because of my inherent trust in the community built here. I've had enjoyable times at these parties. The decision to trust the community lies with each person attending.

Life online is like living in a fishbowl. You can be observed from all angles! Being open but discreet is a feat that each of us learns how to do through practice and following the good advice on this thread!

Re: Privacy on Gaia

Hi J~e~s~s
Empty blog pages, no photos. Strange nicknames that don't spell anything. (this is very prevalent on Twitter) I hadn't put this one on my list and will.  Coming from a Webmaster it, along with the Gaia Privacy Policy is a must read! “Life online is like living in a fishbowl.” That is also a good view to take on as parents when training their teens & kids to use the web…just want to add… don't let them be on the web in their bedroom with the door shut…

per Oprah. it is our duty as parents and responsible internet users to keep these rules of awareness for the young people on this site.  Thanks for what you bring in lightyears of wisdom about running a business on the web or social networking