Create Meaningful Community on-line

Well, I suppose it is no surprise that I have a passion for building diverse communities around common interests. Though these relationships are strengthened if the opportunity allows for a face-to-face visit, I believe genuine and meaningful communities can be nurtured and thrive on social networking sites like Gaia. My guess is that if you are part of this pod you feel the same way.

It would be great to share some strategies that you use to create meaningful community on-line. Here are my top three:

1. I see if I can discover the core essence that allows someone to shine. I read, observe and listen to what really “speaks” to someone and then I try to connect them to others who will appreciate their gifts.

2. I keep a shortcut to Gaia on my desktop and have a built-in routine of dropping by - sometimes just listening, sometimes posting a comment, sometimes sending a message… kind of like when you stroll down a street in a neighborhood or small village.

3. I post my best material and photo essays on Gaia because I want to connect my other communities to the wonderful people here on Gaia.

What are your top three strategies for creating meaningful community on-line?

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

What a great conversation! Underlying your post is the thread that creates meaningful community. 

Three strategies; let's see now.

1. Engaging and interacting with those who seek meaningful communication.

2. Giving space to others and myself to be silent, to not engage, if that is more meaningful. 

3. Being responsible for the spaces I occupy [profile, blogs, groups, and so on], and attempting to ensure that my activity is kept in a healthy balance.

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Thanks Meenakshi! All great strategies. The one that stood out for me was “giving space to others and myself to be silent.” I tend to be an internal thinking and take longer than the usual amount of time to process before engaging. But when I'm ready I DO engage. Your strategies reminds me that people will be okay with that. They will just say to themselves “Ah, Terrill is just processing. If and when she is ready she will be here.”

And keeping “a healthy balance” - different at different times and different for each person.

Lovely! Terrill

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I'm chuckling as this has really been 1 of my greatest challenges, Terrill- how to read silence of others. I once blogged about Filling in the silence in between others' words. What we read into each others' silence is crucial to understanding their words.

Having said that, the challenge arises because we can be silent in physical space and still commune; but when it's in an online space, that feeling of being together is more ephemeral. Hence I try to balance my silence with words and try to get others to write if I feel they've been too silent!

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Your “Filling in the silence” blog and comments says it all so well Meenakshi. I have an accountability measure I have learned to take as a leader and colleague to let people know when I sense that my input is really important. I let them know that I have heard them and that I am processing and thinking about what they have said. This usually gives me enough time to gather my thoughts without creating undue stress on the relationship.

I will also say things like “I hear you and need to think about this. Can we set a time to come back to it on (specific date & time)?” or “When do you need a response by?” Both of these approaches have helped ease the tension between my natural processing style and the need for others to know.

And this approach seems to work on-line just as well as it does face-to-face.

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My top three strategies for creating meaningful community on-line:

I check and answer e-mails & groups & blogs subscribed to then -

1.  Put in any add to the conversations or acknowledge the other knowing that it feels great when others contribute to the motion here. Team Gaia is an important part of Gaia so I do what they talk about on all of their blogs and keep in touch with them by e-mailing when I can either help out or have a question.

2.  As a Mod or Cultivator  if there is a typo or format out of place I use the techie skills we learn here to edit if necessary; I like to keep the branding of Gaia as a spiritual and as positive experience for the readers with the concept that more members will feel safe, become a part of this community and feel welcome to comment.  I love posting YouTubes and photos as it does add to help different cultures around the world understand the significance of the current subjects we all share.  I like Jonathan Harris as one of my favorite web designers {his TED story}; and follow him for new ideas from all of his websites such as the UNIVERSE he invented.

3.  I observe what others are doing and try to duplicate their reality with welcoming and adding to discussions without overwhelming or offending someone.  Since I am not the best at starting discussions and respect those that do, I try to flow power to those that do and encourage others to post as well so we have a lot of different points of view.

The bottom line is connecting and helping share cool things about each other like when I read your blog, Terrill, I got excited and so others may find it, I put a blurb in my Dreams of Artists spotlight for future reference and helping a broader audience find you.

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More great strategies Kathy. I am crazy about the Jonathan Harris TED story you have linked for us. I tend to agree with him when he says we are more alike each other as humans than different. So here we are leaving footprints on-line that can be passively collected to create the worlds feelings database - amazing.

Jonathan presentation is a good example about how our real-time lives have begun to be expressed on-line. So when we are thinking about strategies, if we think about the intent behind our real-time interactions we can then build an online equivalent behaviour… like the stroll down a neighbour hood street saying “hello”

This is a great beginning. Terrill

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Great subject Terrill.  My ideas for strategy on Gaia

1. Join as many groups that go with your interests in social networking

2. Be interested in members and what they have to say by writing something on their thread or take 30 seconds to give them a grape on their grapevine to show you notice they are here… like a very well done type of short communication. [manners]

3. Keep blogs going and invite your groups to read yours by linking if there aren't very many comments…like having someone over for coffee or tea… different flow than just the group action but I encourage blogging.  It is a part of each individual identity and gives ideas that we can carry over to groups for broader discussions.

I enjoy when you write and give me links Terrill.  It really helps me to become more involved.  Thanks for being here and being my friend.  There are times when one is new here that it feels weird to dive in but you guys on this group make it so safe to start posting and commenting.  Thanks Lee

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Even more great strategies Lee! Wow, this is like pulling together the most attractive and tasty potluck-dining for creating meaningful community on-line that I have ever seen.

Just so others know what you mean Lee, I will explain a bit further about the “links” you are referring. Once I get to know what someone's area or expertise is or their interests, I will send a direct message with a link to the resource when I am find something I think is really good. This might happen because we have an interest in common or simply because I stumble upon it and remember them.

PS. If you find something you think is especially good about advancing women's leadership - please feel free to send me the link:)

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Hi Terrill, just read through this and I agree….silently smiling..the women here are leading…bless you.

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GREAT theme.

Processing……..

:)
OM Bastet

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The arts and skills of woman, the creation and inspiration of which she is capable and which – here and there in isolated places in our culture – she still manages to effect in spite of the ruin and decay of parts of the world where there is war, illiteracy or economic downfall the news seems to show more than is needed which spreads around her, must be brought newly and fully into life.  

These arts and skills and creation and inspiration are her beauty, just as she is the beauty of mankind.

Here is one website started by a woman, Jehane Noujaim called Pangea Day and she speaks on Ted and I am interested that when I find links I will send you but appreciate them posted here as it does help build some bridges.

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The balance that I see between masculine-feminine energies brings clarity and commitment, which are two of the pillars of meaningful community. I'd once blogged about Courage, clarity, commitment, communication as four Cs of community; and was heartened to see the many 'C's' that keep coming up.

I think that in today's world, we are at the edge of a masculine-feminine balance - not only as man-woman but both within each of us.

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Meenakshi your four Cs are awesome core values and practices to build community. Again these values and behaviours translate easily to on-line community with one caveat - I think we to be more explicit on-line because we do not have the advantage of peoples body language in the implicit creation of common values and practices.

A discussion about masculine-feminine energies in creating meaningful community on-line is a fascinating topic. This may be an area we want to create a separate thread to discuss and then bring any strategies we distill back to post here. I suggest this because if there is interest we could go deep and wide in our discussion about this one topic (and I would be there to participate in a flash of an eyelid!) without taking away from our strategy building on this thread. Just a thought.

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Hey! This is a very nice topic; probably something we should copyright and package for sale to disconnected publics [of which there are many!]

I have always felt that GAIA has potential to be a ground breaker 'project' on building community and I hoped that somebody, somewhere, was recording its life and evolution. I have a feeling Meenakshi would be the best person to write this memoir! She is like an expert on community building in GAIA :)

Well, what many people may not know is that several years ago I took a look around at 'my' world and I didn't like the coldness of it. Since I was already in the personal empowerment 'business' I recognised my own potential to do something about it, if I was up to the challenge, rather than to continue moaning about it.

I designed my first Quality of Life Reminder from that inspiration, actually. It said 'If the world seems cold, kindle fires to warm it' a quote from Lucy Larcom I think. [Blog link here.]

I confess to being strategic in my approaches to connecting and community building. The truth is, division has been the rule for such a long time that when anyone gets a sincere greeting it can blow them back! I had to make it 'normal' to be warm and affectionate, even online. It is a challenge in the first place to communicate online, furthermore to build trusting friendships etc.

I don't think anyone is expecting perfection in communication, but sincerity is paramount. Showing your original thought also demonstrates that you are not just playing around with ideas you've heard someone talk about.

I have been learning that everyone isn't necessarily ready for connection though and they hold their true selves back and try to play the 'word' game. This is fine but indicative of people that I think would be more of a nature to come along for the goodness generated but not necessarily to give any of themselves or anything meaningful to the community. Therefore, would they really be 'in' the community? I don't know…

Samme - who is another fantastic community builder - shared a link with me about Community Psychology which might be interesting to this discussion. Please follow it here… In particular he highlighted James Kelly's work.

It's hard to not acknowledge the masculine and feminine tendencies in this regard and to recognise that the 'cool' way in modern times is to be almost absent! I for one will be happy when it is indeed the popular thing to be as friendly and as helpful as you could possibly be!

I will invite Samme as well to take some time to comment if he is available.

Thanks,

All the best, Sherrilene

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I received an email requesting that I weave a strand of conversational thread into this already beautiful tapestry and respond specifically to Terrill’s initial question, “What are your top three strategies for creating meaningful community on-line?” 

I reach out.  I specifically look through member profiles for people who have been part of the Gaia Community for more than a year, but who have made less than five friends.  In reading through their profile, I try to discern what their interests are and/or where they might enjoy contributing and where they might receive the most benefit.  Then I send them a friendship invitation and provide a little background with links to those specific groups.

I build bridges.  I have a link on my website (www.HolEssence.com) and in my monthly newsletter (http://www.holessence.com/monthlynewsletter/june2009.html) that connects my clients with the Gaia Community.  I have received numerous phone calls and emails thanking me for the pointing the way to our environmentally responsible, spiritually conscious community of people.

I am consistent.  I schedule specific time each day for the purpose of Gaian activity and I follow through with requests (such as this one). 
Listen with your heart, - Laurie

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Interesting thread. I have to say I sometimes struggle between finding time to commit to the internet and with the problems that arise when posting. These things pull me back.

On the other hand I do check in every morning and every night to see how things are going and provide some feedback.

Like Sherrilene I have always thought that Zaadz/Gaia is groundbreaking. I see it as a means for learning better communication skills and building better worldwide community. My feeling is that the future of the earth is tied in with the ability for its citizens to develop better community ties. 

The industrial revolution did a lot of damage to community and we have suffered ever since to where, in the last 50 years it has become normal to live in single unit families and not connect much with extended family. This avoids the development of communication skills. It also has resulted in a sense of malaise, of isolation where people feel unsupported by family and community.

If you look at ecological systems theory you get an idea of how humanity lives and develops and how individuals develop. Its all tied in together. We need to support that not fight it to create future health in community.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecological_Systems_Theory

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Every time I come back to this thread, there's more wonderful insights. Sherri, I think that this is a work in progress for most  - if not all - of us:  ”I have been learning that everyone isn't necessarily ready for connection though and they hold their true selves back and try to play the 'word' game”
Sometimes the word game is played to confound; but most often I'd say, it's played to show our best selves to the other[s]. Or even, our most peaceful selves. Sometimes of course, it's used to express our most agressive or thoughtless selves online! 


I think that becoming comfortable with this may have something to do with Jenny's remarkable insight into how the current social set-up prevents the development of communication skills. Perhaps it's also setting up a new way of communicating? Making each word and silence count?


Laurie, thank you for giving us beautiful tips that can actually be used by any of us to create meaningful community. I'm so glad you accepted the invitation to share your wisdom and hope to read  more . 

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Like Meenakshi - everytime I come back to this thread… Humm-Humm Yummy! What a rich set of strategies for meaningful community on-line we are identifying here. Thank you Sherrilene, Laurie, Jenny and Meenakshi for keeping the belly-fire of this conversation going.

Let's see what threads we can tug on here? Hum…

Be vulnerable (or the real you) - “I don't think anyone is expecting perfection in communication, but sincerity is paramount. Showing your original thought also demonstrates that you are not just playing around with ideas you've heard someone talk about.” - Sherrilene (benefits we reaped recently during face-to-face visits)

Draw people in even beyond Gaia - “I have a link on my website (www.HolEssence.com) and in my monthly newsletter (http://www.holessence.com/monthlynewsletter/june2009.html) that connects my clients with the Gaia Community.”  - Laurie (I do the same and it is such a wonderful way to connect like-minded people)

Understand that we are part of an ecosystem - If you look at ecological systems theory you get an idea of how humanity lives and develops and how individuals develop. Its all tied in together. We need to support that not fight it to create future health in community. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecological_Systems_Theory - Jenny (reminds me of the work of Jane Jacobs http://www.pps.org/info/placemakingtools/placemakers/jjacobs)

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts - and if I have tugged on your thread a little too hard (changed the meaning) feel free to expand on your original idea. Terrill

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

After being absent (hit and miss) for almost 6 months whilst in the middle of major transitions it seems funny for me to post anything about maintaining meaningful connections with my online community. Notice how I write (my) online community?

It is because I feel as though I have not lost the connections I made when I first arrived here almost two years ago, July 2007! Sherrilene is correct when she talks about being your most authentic self. I feel it is the only lasting way to create the heartfelt, deep ties between members. What has been interesting for me, returning home to Gaia after so long, are the profile 'changes'. Does this mean a person is no longer the person I grew to know online or are they simply wearing a different hat? ~grin~

With that said (and an email sent to an incorrect Dave properly apologized for… LOL) my top three strategies for creating meaningful community would be;

1. Have a genuine interest in the lives of the people we meet online. If someone blogs about an experience, thought, or adventure at least leave a comment letting them know you were there and enjoyed their contribution.

2. Check in as often as time permits. I love to drop by with a grapevine comment if I'm short on time with a (((HUG))) or a SMILE :0), a personal email, text message, phone call, or a Gaia Meet Up (Yes, sometimes going beyond the typed word on a screen helps grow connections more deeply, other times not so much ;0)… )

3. Be a contributing member in our Groups. Pick a group, any group and take part in the conversation! I'm not saying you must comment on every discussion, be online every single day, or even have anything relevant to the topic of the day. The 'work' part of being in a community is giving something of yourself back to the community. It may be you simply say, “This topic was very interesting to read, keep it going everyone!” All conversations need input, a cheering section, and the community members presence to thrive.

It sure is good to be back in the Gaiasphere!

Smiles,
amber

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Welcome back, Amber! There is nothing lost in the going away that is not gained at least two-fold in the joy of return.

Hugs,

Nicole

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Amber, you've just shown your 3 strategies in action! I agree; this is definitely your community - so I'm glad you posted here soon after you came back! [Thanks for that smiley chocolate. I ate 'em and now there are…hey! still 3!

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It seems to me that we have created cliques of communities here on Gaia. Not community's where all are connected… and what I find with this group is mainly the same handful of people answering and posting to each other… 

as I have written before, I do not grasp the ebb and flow to or of these groups? 

My path is to greet people via Grapevines, some blogs that are of interest to me, and that resonate with my path/mind/heart/spirit of the time of reading…
I post blogs off and on… yet not on a regular basis… 

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The Art of Dialogue from Fast Company.

I ran across this article recently and thought it could be nicely applicable to this discussion, as, to my mind, dialogue is a core / key component of community.  Some highlights:

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Well if there was ever any mystery about how we have created a community here on Gaia – one read of this thread will remove all doubts. Amber even remembered the Chocolate!

Great article Siona - I admit to reaching a crisis of emptiness when engaged in small talk really quickly:)

Jeff your comments bring into the discussion about creating meaningful community on-line something that is even more pronounced than in face-to-face community. There is often a core group of people in any community who become comfortable expressing themselves and a conscious effort must be made to invite new and diverse people to join and switch up who is leading discussions and activities. On-line it is hard to see if people not posting in a pod are nodding, smiling and engaged or whether they are looking out the window or have even wondered out of the virtual room. Thanks for pointing this out.

When facilitating in real-time communities (face-to-face or on the conference calls) I will call for “a round” at the beginning and end of a conversation to help bridge this dynamic. In a round everyone in the circle is given an opportunity to speak. They can speak or pass on their turn but the design makes it a conscious choice and it draws the rest of the group to their presence during the process. However, I think this may be a cumbersome process on-line. Does anyone know of something similar that has worked for pods?

Reading and commenting on other peoples blogs at random is a great way to connect across the community outside of gatherings in pods around a specific subject. I too have spent very little time in pod discussions and use grapevine and blog posting and commenting as a way of creating and “being” in our community. I have come to understand these as equally important though different paths.

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There is often a core group of people in any community who become comfortable expressing themselves and a conscious effort must be made to invite new and diverse people to join and switch up who is leading discussions and activities.

Terrill: Thank you so much for pointing this out, and for the wonderful following question about inviting the more silent members in Groups to come chime in. I actually think it could be a less cumbersome process online than in real life, as in this world people can come and post and speak at different times during the day and week, compared to in real life, when everyone needs to sit and take turns. I try to invite individual members in some of my Groups to come and contribute a word or two if I think the topic would benefit from their contribution, though it can be hard to gauge whether someone is silent because of lack of interest, intimidation, or just because their life is full. ;)

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Hey Amber, whooooppppeeee!! You're back! And I am too !!!!

I'm still pondering my contributions to this thread, but I feel drawn to comment on Jeff's comment, and hope this is relevant. I think Terrill's response was terrific.

The thing about what appears to be “cliques” here, Jeff, is that they are not “created.” They are not CLOSED, which is the hallmark defining a clique, I think. It's the same people posting and responding to each other because those happen to be the people who choose to participate in that activity-spot of Gaia during the timeperiod you are checking. Especially in this Group, but also most others, new folks are entirely welcome, welcomed, and encouraged to participate.

There is indeed a conscious effort here in Gaia Networking to reach out and include more folks. We make ourselves visible and we invite. If you were to monitor this group's posters for even a month you would see new folks coming into the discussions all the time. So a first impression might suggest “clique” but I don't think that's accurate.

That said, certainly one top strategy for creating meaningful community online is to find many creative ways to deal with the challenge of not just being open to participation by many, not just supporting or encouraging it, but also actively evoking/provoking participation, or offering the opportunity in ways that have to be explicitly accepted or declined, as Terrill described. 

Part of that is what ~KES is so good at: promotion of the very existence of a group, because people can't participate unless they are aware a group exists.

So maybe I would offer these strategies, and they don't directly address the *MEANINGFUL* part of our topic, but are preconditions of meaningfulness, namely, presence:

1. Get the word out that you exist, that your blogs exist, that your photos exist, that your books exist, etc. Get the word out that your group exists. Get ATTENTION.

2. Explicitly invite. Be welcoming. Be obviously open to input, from new folks. This is not just for Groups, this can be done on blogs or profiles or many ways. 

3. Evoke input. Ask for input. Offer opportunities that have to be accepted or declined. This particular Group, Gaia Networking, is quintessentially excellent at that, because we have all learned from Meenakshi, our cultivator, who has some kind of awesome talent for stirring up participation opportunities in the community. But even on a blog or a profile one can EVOKE input.

Well, that isn't what I thought I would contribute, but Jeff sparked these thoughts. Thank you, Jeff! 

All the contributions above are totally awesome. This thread is headed for the Collective Wisdom Library if no one objects!

And we should make sure there is a cross-post in the Gaia Community Vision Group, eh?

Sneaking in a 4th strategy for creating meaningful community online: CROSSLINK YOUR HEART OUT !!!!!!!

Blessings, OM Bastet 

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The thing about what appears to be “cliques” here, Jeff, is that they are not “created.”

I think there's truth to both sides of this, actually. If something appears to be a clique, doesn't that in many ways define it? I certainly don't think there's any sort of intentional exclusivity that occurs in the Groups here, but I'm sure from the outside certain friendships can appear so close-knit as to be impenetrable; also, those of us who've been here a long time have our own language and history and playful rapport, which might be inadvertently intimidating to newcomers.

That said, I do feel that many Groups go out of their way to make sure they're evolving and growing and staying alive and dynamic. And I think it's a rare, rare thing to find–that is, a community that takes personal responsibility for inviting in the new, even if it requires work and adjustment.

Jeff: While you're here… how could I / we do better at being less clique-y? What recommendations do you have? I love OM's ideas, but perhaps you have more… :)

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Greetings one and all -

Having just read the previous post by 1Vector3 and the ones prior to that, I want to stand up, sprinkle seeds, do cartwheels and shout YEA!! (you get the idea) …

I was recently invited to join this group and asked to throw my two-cents in.  A clique would never do any such thing.  A clique is a tight-group that is not interested in growth.  In fact, quite the opposite.  They are content to stay the same.  They do not want to grow.  That's why they often become stagnant, then dormant, and eventually disappear.

Listen with your heart,

- Laurie

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Thanks OM, Laurie and Siona for continuing the discussion on 'cliques' or 'no cliques.'

Building on all your contributions I am wondering if we can can apply a perspective where we remove the need to analyze “intent” and accept that if something is perceived to be real it is real in its consequences.

As Siona suggested “how can we be less clique-y?” - as part of our strategy or practice.

The personal email invite to provide input works for me.

Another favorite is to ask…

What would you like me/us to:

stop doing?

keep doing?

start doing?

Then when the answers are received decide what you can reasonably do and let the person/people know.

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As Jeff mentions, each of us finds the spaces we feel comfortable in, and avoids those that feel uncomfortable. This is in life as in an online community. The post has got me thinking and I hope you'll pardon my sharing aloud those meanderings of thought; as they do relate to how we can create meaningful community - which balances being inclusive with being meaningful.

What defines my contribution is how I perceive, react, and respond to the behavior of others.

When I enter a party /discussion to which I've been invited, I can feel uncomfortable if I am the only one, and no one is speaking/has posted before me, so I can stay silent, feel that this is not an important discussion, or silently enjoy and leave, or start the discussion going. Others would probably do the same.

If I am shy, I ask a friend to go with me, or wait till my friend is there, so I don't feel alone.

When I reach the party/discussion, if I see that people are posting, I can feel that they started without me and are excluding me, or just jump in. Or get to know the other members, respond to what they have written, and then write my own experience.

When people interact freely, the shape is a circle. However close or cliquish they may seem, these circles are fluid, form and reform, and they all have spaces to allow others in. That's because in a group, everyone knows that others will be coming, hopes that others will come, waits for others to come, and after they come, greet them in some way. Sometimes it's silent, and the other doesn't even know.

 The only limitation is, that each group, as each garden, room, space, has its own reason for being, its own unique function. I can't post a confidential message on a grapevine or a group - but I can message it; or talk about recipes in this group, for instance, but I can , in Vegetarian Curry or the Veg'n group. That's why it's a group. The different groups and other spaces together make a tapestry that each of us can choose to participate in, or  not.

As a moderator in online groups, I am learning to greet everyone who comes. Sometimes what they say is so appreciated, but needs no words in response, but they may feel that they have not been responded to.

As a group member, I think we all can learn that we each have the responsibility of making others feel welcome, but of course, as authentically as possible. That's my dream, as when we enter a train in a European country, the newcomer greets everyone in the compartment [but in an Indian train, you ignore everyone at first]. And my further dream is that when you leave, it's like leaving an Indian train where everyone knows each other's life story, and not just leave as strangers.

If someone feels they have nothing to provide for the central purpose of this group, I don't mind when they don't want to join or post. But it does hurt me if anyone feels that they do have a gift to give community, which is what this group is openly and actively pursuing, and yet they do not feel welcome to give that gift. So like others have written, I would love to know what keeps them feeling excluded from such discussions - in a message or a separate thread, so this discussion can continue with the strategies  we use to create meaningful community.

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Terrill, 
Thank you for inviting me back! I would have come on my own to check to see how things where going, I had received messages from Kes/kathy, so I knew I had stirred the pot in some way… and I was not ignored!

I really did not mean that this group was a clique per se but it could be perceived as such if one does not look closely… I am looking deeper, reading, listening, holding the fullness of what it is that “we” here at Gaia are seeking to create or are creating… 

Meenakshi, your last post captures the essence and hold forth the vision that is being co-created here… I am grateful for your talent and your strength to do what you do… Great work… 

This is one group that I kept while purging many of the inactive pods that were just cluttering up my profile page. This one group, and this one group only, that I have had experience with that continues to invite, creates safe space, and to celebrate everything and everyone… 

To be honest, I have difficulty linking sites, adding photos, and or video's, I think it is a great way to add to the interest, continue the discussion, etc… 

Thank you everyone who have contributed to this conversation, It adds to the vibration of the site and the group, that there is true interest in what we are doing here… at Gaia, in community, in the greater world around us…

I am Love, Jeff

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Wow Jeff!  First off, I am thankful to be your friend here.

I see three really great strategic maneuvers here.
1.  We really should have a thread devoted to linking and pulling up photos that go in some moment.  I like your blogs Jeff [linked]
2.  There ought to be a very light thread where people can feel safe to practice some one liner contributions.
3.  I was a bit shy on Gaia and overcame it by just diving in.  Not always the best thing but it is a good thing when teaching ourselves internet skills.  It would be cool to form questions that go around the inhibitions of not just jumping into some conversation.  These would help… like naming “buttons” and helping us all see the stops we run on ourselves and how to excel on line dealing with invisible virtual lives through this machine.

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This thread went very well with my morning coffee!!! Thanks for the links, ~KES… I'm off to get to know Jeff!

Smiles!

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Jeff -

My hat's off to you!  Beautifully stated and well received.

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

Terrill, Kes, Laurie, Amber, 

Thank you all for your courage and commitment to creating… holding honor among “cliques” (ha) within community, to reaching out beyond our comfort zone…


I am Love, Jeff

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

Which reminds me of something else that helps create meaningful community on-line

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

At this point I would like to share a paragraph written by Susan Wright and Carol MacKinnon in Leadership Alchemy -The Magic of the Leader Coach.

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

Waycool, all the above!!

It really is true, the very perception of a clique means that it truly does exist in the perception of the person, and we'd like to not have that happen at all !!!

From this thread I have learned a lot about being more pro-active in reaching out to pod members in general, and sometimes particular individuals, with specific requests and questions that evoke input. 

And I have learned other things too !! 

~KES, I wrote a lot about how to create links, hyperlinks, and use permalinks, in the How Tos and FAQs Group, here. And others around the site have explained it well, too. A site search for those terms should turn up something useful. 

And sounds as if Meenakshi is working on an update to How To on posting photos. 

It's a real challenge to figure out where to put this info so that people can easily find it when they need it. Most of the time, they don't even try to find the info in the community, which is sad. So many people end up re-inventing the wheel….. Do you have suggestions about this? 

I regard How Tos as a HUGE sticking point to “creating meaningful online communities.” It's a challenge I feel passionate about, trying to optimize people's experience so they CAN get “meaningful.” It's hard to get meaningful if you can't use the darn site!!!!

Blessings, OM Bastet

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

Thanks Vector, this is what I sort have been looking for… not that members have not offered… my brain just does not seem to absorb this stuff… I have been trying to do it on http://www.redbubble.com for a while to connect photos to page/journals, features etc… sometimes I get it sometimes not… I will keep trying… 

Thank you!
IML, Jeff

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

I think that from this discussion what I get is, that we need “go-to” people in case we can't figure something out. I had called then Gaian Guides [e.g Gaian Guides- Sound Files ] but perhaps everyone will understand “Go-To” People better? Not sure if it's an Americanism or fairly universal.

The point is, that if a member feels that they can help others to make their way around Gaia, it would be wonderful if they can let us know so that those who need certain help, know whom to go to, without hesitation.

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

Thank you, OM and Meenakshi. Also, please please please don't be shy about suggesting updates to the FAQs. Those are linked to from the 'Help' buttons and thus seem the most logical repository of information. I just gave Matthew a short list of additional items to add (ie. how to add images, links, and videos to posts), and we can certainly continue to expand on that section.

Also, Matthew is in the process of making webcasts to help walk people through the site in a more visual fashion. I know sometimes it's easier to see someone show you how to do something than to have them describe it.

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

This is so exciting… ~Matthew has the best voice!!! 
Thanks for the green light Siona.  I know that OM & Meenakshi have been testing a great “how to” on images that works & requested it be sent to him.  

Is there a “how to” link on Gaia Networking?

Jeff… thanks for the red bubble site.  I look forward to seeing your photography there as well.

Terrill… the quote “When we speak of change, we tend to think of it as an external force weighing in on us, forcing us to adapt…”  is so workable as we all help put order in we feel the force against doing so… but keep moving and putting more order in and all of the world's chaos goes away and we expand.

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

Thank you, Meenakshi, for gently nudging me towards this great discussion. It is wonderful! So many beautiful thoughts…

I have been a member here for the past 2+ years and it has literally changed my life. Because of this site I realized how valuable our connections are to each other and to the world. I am in the process of writing my second book which talks about our oneness and I even started my own networking site to celebrate our connection to the whole. So the Zaadz/Gaiam Community has truly made a difference to me.

I will add that one thing that has struck me as an asset in communicating with the on-line community is to always, always, always come from a place of integrity. I know it sounds like a no-brainer to this group. Right? But as we know, not everyone on-line is coming from that place. So, if I keep my integrity at a high level, I tend to attract the same. And those that are not communicating with integrity either don't show up at all or recognize that they need to step it up in order to play in the same sandbox.

I am glad I was invited to play in this sandbox and thank you all for making this website so very special. And KES, I love your suggestion and maybe it can be one of the Q&R questions.

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

What a beautiful discussion. The pieces that stay with me the most are about coming from an authentic, vulnerable space when sharing online. I realise that some people feel insecure about this, so for me creating community is largely about making the space feel safe enough to do this.

Whenever someone has really come from their heart in their communication here, I notice something happen – it is as if the vibration changes, and people always respond with so much love. And this doesn't mean to say the sharings have to be 'deep' or emotional ones, but more that they come from the place of integrity you describe, Katrina.

And, I don't know if this is something one can 'do' – 'doing integrity' can feel artificial and manipulated. I suppose it's a constant practise - to share, be, hear, with vulnerability and honesty, to keep looking, all the time. I know I fail daily, and each time I do, I remind myself to open up again, to breathe, to know that there is always another moment that I can meet with my full self.

The questions I can ask myself when I share/talk  online ( or in person ) : Am I sharing this to 'look good'? Am I sharing this to try and control myself or another person? Is this really what I feel, or is there something else? What am I feeling, actually  (and share *that*)? Am I trying to blame someone ( or myself…) for something? Am I open to what is happening here, can I be with it in a space of love and compassion, no matter what is happening? Am I listening? Am I really listening?

My sense is that we can do a lot in practical terms to support meaningful community (eg the suggestion to have 'light' threads where people feel invited just to drop short notes/one liners, making an effort to connect gaia members who seem to share interests) - and in the end it is up to each of us to look at what is meaningful to us, and to come from that place when we share here, to share our process on this journey, to be willing to be wrong, to be willing to listen, and to be willing to step beyond what feels safe to us. In my experience this is often what is needed to create a true sense of safety - like the Fool card in the Tarot, being always willing to take a leap into the void… willing to confront fears, willing to take risks.

In an online world, where all we have is the written word - (although I do believe the written word actually carries much more than just what's on the page) - communication does seem to be a priority. How to do that here, where you cannot read body language, hear vocal tone and so on. (btw I loved the bit discussed here about allowing 'silence').

What sometimes helps me in terms of online communication is to stay in the conversation for longer than seems necessary  - to make sure that what I say is what is heard, or that what I hear is what actually is being said. If I feel hurt or confused by what someone has written, it is often because I've misread something or because I'm in a particular mood when I read, and it really helps to step back and tune in with myself and/or ask specifically what is meant, and to stay in the communication until something shifts. Sometimes this means not actually writing or talking, but staying in the communication 'energetically' doing work like ho'oponopono. And, for me what's crucial is to remind myself that I 'don't know'.

And, article you mention, Siona, says most of this much more succinctly!


Love,
Sandra

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

Sandra, 
Yummy yummy, you got it sister! It takes all of that which you share here and more, the more is the essence of what we/ego or we/spirit seek to inform or enlighten, each other about or with… 

What also has come up for me is a question or a thought: is not being agreeing or one who maybe angry not showing up as authentic too ? 

It seems much of the time we seem to wish to agree or have others agree with us, blowing smoke, patting us on the head or back, rather than challenging questions to get to the answer or have the person express themselves and agree to disagree, while holding them in love and support… 
Make sense? if not ask me… 

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

Jeff, you've brought up a very important point. When someone is  authentically disagreeing with us, can we take it?

When we disagree with others, can we ask challenging questions?

In my life, I've found two answers to these questions [and am doubtless going to find more]

If I challenge someone's thought, I need to be open to whatever reaction may come from the other. Sometimes our first reaction seems authentic; but I believe that our second, third , fourth levels of responsiveness are equally authentic. We have so many oceanic layers to ourselves. So before I challenge I have to be certain I am responding and not reacting. That if I am reacting, so may the other. That the other may react even if I respond…and so on.

Sometimes, the process of a group may help this ; but at other times,  private messages between two people who want to extend their disagreement and then resolve it, can help more.

You wrote: It seems much of the time we seem to wish to agree or have others agree with us,..

I agree [!] I was thinking about this the other day, and realized that it's because what we say seems so true to us, that first we want it to be acknowledged. So eg. if I don't agree with you, perhaps I can say - “i acknowledge that you feel this way but my reality seems different. Can we talk about this?”

I wonder if this helps?
What is your thought about this?

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

Jeff, I loved what you wrote. Yes, being 'authentic' can so often be a kind of manipulation of being 'nice' and avoiding uncomfortable feelings etc.

I remember being in a group that was all about being absolutely honest – a powerful experience, and I remember asking someone there how they were doing because I felt such suppressed anger and they kept insisting they were 'fine'. I didn't believe it for a second and it all came out later in the group, not fine at all.

I know my dear 'real life' and Gaia friend Mushin would probably say we can't not be ourselves (i.e our 'authentic' selves). I suppose in the end the main thing is always awareness. And can we really choose to be aware? I don't even know that we can. I seem to know when there 'is awareness' happening, and that when I am aware of my feelings, my behaviours, something seems to shift, some kind of opening, a softening, an 'alrightness' with what is and this seems to alter my experience of what is, i.e. how I experience others to be.

Recently was at a writing retreat with Barbara Turner Vesselago( who has been my 'writing' mentor for years, the person who taught me the Freefall process to writing.) The retreat was for 'experienced' Freefallers: right at the start Barbara said something along the lines that she was going to assume that none of us needed our egos boosting,  that she was not going to spend a lot of time doing things to make sure that everyone felt 'good' about their writing - she would assume that we were all able to take care of those things ourselves at this point, and that we would go head first into 'the work' i.e writing. I realised this supported me NOT to engage in 'poor me' or victim thoughts (eg I can't write anymore / teacher doesn't like my work as much as she likes x's work etc), and to just get on with it.

In another group I was in recently with Deena Metzger there was as similar feeling state - that everyone assumed a level of responsibility in themselves and from each other and so everyone 'met' in this place. So there was very little 'agreeing' for the sake of being 'nice' etc. And while very challenging questions/discussions occured, there was no conflict, interestingly - lots of 'feelings' arose, but it always felt real, 'authentic' and not against anyone including the person feeling the feelings. Not sure if this makes sense, but I guess what I'm saying is something along the lines that something wonderful seems to happen when we 'hold our space' and assume that everyone will and can too - and in this space we acknowledge the unique being of another, listening to where they are coming from, not assuming we 'know' who they are or what they 'should' believe in etc.

Not sure if this addresses what you were saying Jeff but it does feels related to what you wrote, Meenakshi.

Love,
Sandra

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

If you are new to this thread, please copy/paste the three survey questions from Terrill and answer them below:

t would be great to share some strategies that you use to create meaningful community on-line. Here are my top three:

1. I see if I can discover the core essence that allows someone to shine. I read, observe and listen to what really “speaks” to someone and then I try to connect them to others who will appreciate their gifts.

2. I keep a shortcut to Gaia on my desktop and have a built-in routine of dropping by - sometimes just listening, sometimes posting a comment, sometimes sending a message… kind of like when you stroll down a street in a neighborhood or small village.

3. I post my best material and photo essays on Gaia because I want to connect my other communities to the wonderful people here on Gaia.

What are your top three strategies for creating meaningful community on-line?

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

Here is a PDF file of a few Do's & don'ts of Creating an Effective Social Media Strategy that I wanted to add to this amazing mix.  It is just a white paper but there may be a couple of tips that help everyone.

Re: Create Meaningful Community on-line

Oops, I never carried through with posting this to Collective Wisdom: The Library of Community Threads, but just did that. A re-read just now was soooo uplifting!!

Hugs to all,
OM Bastet