Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Group members, cultivators, moderators, and sometimes even non-members, often worry about groups where there is little activity; or groups where only cultivators/mods are posting; or where there is interaction by a fraction of the members.

Back in 2008 I'd written a post about silent members, calling them”lurkers” as in internet parlance in the colorfully named thread :Warriors, guerilla soldiers, tennis players, monks and who else?


I'd love your take on this issue. I know my thinking is changing….


====The post===

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

We also had quite a long and playful thread in the God Pod last year devoted to lurkers, and the more I am in groups, the more I understand the phenomenon. I frequently will watch discussions come and go in many of the groups I am in (current total 77) without participating because I do not feel moved to do so. 

In the same way, I try to look over the blogs of my 389 friends daily, but do not comment on each one.

Personally, I think online sites like Gaia are a good place to learn not to be too attached to whether people respond to you or not. At first when I was involved in groups, I would be devastated in no one responded to my posts. I felt invisible, unloved. 

Now I understand and no longer worry if a blog gets few comments or a post gets no replies. I know that people get what they need from it, and sometimes I become aware the post or blog was mostly just for my own benefit, and that's ok.

Sometimes it takes years - recently someone replied to a post in an inactive group I had put there in 2006, and an interesting discussion ensued. You never know! :)

Love,

Nicole

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

“Sometimes it takes years - recently someone replied to a post in an inactive group I had put there in 2006, and an interesting discussion ensued. You never know! :)”
that's really amazing!!!!

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

{Reposted in part from another thread}

I am “in and out” around Gaia these days due to a number of other commitments that currently need my time, and the conversation on joining groups and posting left me motivated to share my own “two cents” on “occasional posters”.

I belong to a number of excellent groups, but I rarely find time to visit all of them every time I am on Gaia. However, I feel that my energies are always in support of those groups, through the connection we have made even when I am not posting directly. Sometimes I think having more groups than I can comfortably be involved in consistently, helps me to focus more easily on what I feel “called” to participate in and how. Sometimes I add support or direction to a conversation through a post, but just as often I simply stand quietly in support of my fellow Gaians with mindful intent. I think a healthy smattering of each “type” of poster is needed to keep any group healthy and entertaining. Not posting doesn't mean group members are not co-creating and adding their energies “behind the scenes”! I know I am grateful to all the members of my (currently quiet) group and I send them blessings daily! Lol (We're still friends if you don't post - even though I love to “hear your voice”!) I recognize that sometimes our virtual connections are just a “reminder” of our very real energetic connections, and I think part of the beauty of a community such as Gaia, is that for the most part, when you form a friendship here, that “hidden” aspect of connection is often recognized as well.

I hold you in my sphere.

I'm enjoying this feature, and the oppertunity to get to know a new and interesting friend here on Gaia.  Thanks so much Laurie for taking the time out of your busy day to share with us :)

Love, Light, and Laughter,
Mercale

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Tanya, I think these words are so important for us to remember:
” I recognize that sometimes our virtual connections are just a “reminder” of our very real energetic connections,”


As long as there is that healthy mix you mention, of members who do post and those who support silently.


If you saw a group you're supporting silently; get all silent; like you see your group at present, would you try to encourage participation —how long should a cultivator wait, d'you think?

Or a member?

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

again, it depends on the cultivator or member! i can wait indefinitely - to me there is no problem with a silence stretching on for months if no one has anything to add there… makes it exciting - all these thousands of inactive groups out there, you just never know when one will start bubbling up a bit :)

Hugs,

Nicole

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

i know that i lurk around the God Pod and Fully Engaged everyday..looking for a spot to put my 2 cents in..see what the chatter is about..

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

I'm late to the discussion, but I'd like to share some thoughts about lurking.
My personal perspective just as a “user” :   I follow many threads in many groups from the “outside” (non-member)  There are times when the subject will rise to the level where I feel the desire to contribute.  A couple of factors come into play.  I have to consider the group.  What is their focus?  There are “specialty” groups whose main raison d etre revolves around a person, or a specific personal philosophy. Many of these “niche” groups  have a core amount of people who maintain posting due largely to their interest in the subject.  Their focus revolves around that subject and they are generally impatient with distractions from that subject.  So, if my motivation to respond to a thread is to disagree, and I generally don't have a vested interest in the subject, then it makes no sense for me to join the group for one or two posts.
As a responsible member of ZnG, when I know in advance I will be unable or unwilling to visit for whatever reason for an extended period of time, I either leave the group or contact the cultivator and inform them of my situation and give them the opportunity to decide.

My experience as a moderator @ People Potential:  Of the group members, slightly more than half have not visited the group in a year.  The others “visit” occasionally, some post.  I have to admit it was somewhat karmic to experience the frustration of “lurkers” being a lurker myself.  My challenge is to find a topic that gets them fired up. 
Moderators 0,  Lurkers 35.  heh.

phil

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

A quick PS,  I don't know how some folks keep up the energy to do all they do here.  (Nicole, Meenakshi, OM-nipresent)  Jeez la weez.
:)

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

LOL, phil! My secrets include not sleeping much :), most of my work being done on a flex-time basis in between dropping in on Gaia lol except for my fixed classes at the learning centre M W and Th for 5 hours each time, and using the Discussions tab to keep up with what is happening everywhere in pods on Gaia, usually several times a day.

Oh and being a young whippersnapper of 44 :)

No magic involved, promised

Hugs,

Nicole

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

lol! Enjoyed your posts, Phil! I have ruefully realized that I can't but be more than a lurker in some groups and just hope that the mods know that there are many more like me…

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

My secrets are twofold. 1. Having no regular job. 2. Getting charged up by being here and participating!

:))

OMni-present (that's a new one, thanks, phil!)

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Deep bows and flourishes!
(what little I do needs to be quality…)

;-]

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Hi Meenakshi , loved your post here …i just wanted to say though i 've joined many many groups , being a leisurly , easy going ' READER ' i confine myself to deeply enjoying whatever i selectively choose to read ! in that sense i belong to the following categories :
-Join a group and don't post,~~But read the messages regularly
-Become someone's friend but never message them, leave a comment or a thought for them ~But still read their blogs, and like being their friend.
 
 
…now my point of concern is what you 've mentioned in the last two lines :
 
-They may feel you are just there to add to the numbers, and may therefore decide to remove you from the group, network or community.


-So, a TIP FOR THOSE WHO ARE LURKING: Once in a while, let the group, friend or community  know you are there, and why.

…my problem is that just for the sake of being in the group i do not want to keep writing something !…my approach can be well summarised in the words of the great visishtadvaita , srivaishnava saint  Alavandar in his Gitartha sangraha :

…” KURYAAT PREETYEIVA KAARITAHA :
 
( whatever you do ,do with love ! ) 
 
..and i mean it !…
 
i await your further guidance if any …
love & hugs ,
-jagadish

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

But once again this is just that, mods and cultivatiors of the pod discussion talking to each other. 
The lurkers are not going to response because they don't care or have joined a group/pod and are not able to follow all of the discussion that is brought forth. 

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

To read or not to read… If a posting is too long & there is a limited amount of time to reply, I suggest posting something at the bottom showing a light coverage such as the topic and essence of a thread by adding a one or two liner to help break up length. Another tip is just comment on two to three posts up from the bottom, indicating to the group you are here.  What I have noticed is it helps on having people post on your blog, leave a grapevine or just send a short e-mail, which is a win-win for all.  Like on youTube, we don't always leave a comment but there is a way to give stars letting the poster know someone was there.  I believe a lurker can push the heart button and that rating must go somewhere for tracking statistics… not certain on this rating system.

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Jeff, Mudge and jagadish are not mods in this group… as far as I know jagadish is not a mod of any group.

I would hesitate to decide all lurkers don't care. I have learned from talking to lurkers that they have many reasons for not sharing.

For example, I often lurk here because I belong to way too many pods (and mod too many pods) to chip in to discussions just for the sake of chipping in. If I have nothing to add, I don't add it. Your post moved me to think I did have something to share here, so I just did.

Peace,

Nicole

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Jeff: “But once again this is just that, mods and cultivatiors of the pod discussion talking to each other. ”


You mean on this thread, Jeff? Actually there are those who aren't mods of this group- or other groups for that matter. But it is a good reminder that lurkers either don't follow the discussions even after joining; or ..hmmm; don't care. Have to think about that one!


I wonder though, why we stay as members of groups that we don't particpate in…I think it's because we do like the central idea, the purpose for which the group is made. Or- we feel the discussions are fine without us..Any thoughts on that? 

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Well, Meenakshi, here is my take - I stay in groups so I don't have to rejoin the next time I feel moved to make a contribution! Very timeconsuming, rejoining groups.

Since I don't have any notifications to any of the groups to my email address, it makes no difference to me in that sense  if I am a member of 5, 15, 50 or 100 groups. 

Hugs,

Nicole

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

To me it looked like the same people that always post on a discussion, if you are looking to interest the “lurkers” you need to find out as you have asked “why we stay as members of groups that we don't particpate in…? 

That there is a “central” theme that brings us in but maybe once posted and a few replies the discussion is over. 
If once the central idea is discussed or replied upon, and then chatter begins it is a “waste” of time to run through it to get to the good stuff… my personal thoughts on this… 

My situation is it seems that I have joined groups that have not activity even ones that start out juicy… (for me) for one is the New Men in the Maze, it started I posted and then nothing, I befriended the leader and he said he was too busy now but would get back to it… so now I am only a lurker… 

Jeff

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Hi Jeff,
I was just lurking over in New Men in the Maze.  Whaz the skinny on that?  Does this revolve around someone's personal philosophy or just the “lads” having a chat over a brewski?  And aren't we nervous about the lassies lurking and overhearing?  I personally don't want to give away any secrets on the kingdom to studliness….  ;-]

Perhaps I should join and we could run with it!

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Mudge,

 not much going on there. never was… unfortunately… I think it was revolved around someone's personal philosophy… allowing the 'lassies' to contribute could help at a later date… yet I think us men need a place to share our journeys and spiritual men… 

Let me think on your offer for a bit… 
I am Love, Jeff

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Hello again Jeff-
As you wish.  If you are still interested in discussing men's spirituality and don't wish to continue at the Maze there are others here who would welcome the opportunity to do so.  Drop me an e-mail or GV me if you want.

phil

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Hi Jeff, great feedback.

Yes, there is a relatively small group of us who post often everywhere, and then a slightly bigger group of people who often post to one group or a small number of groups, and those account for probably 90% or more of all the posts to discussions on Gaia. Often new people post to the lounge or another group to introduce themselves and we never hear from them again. 

So, why is this? We have often asked ourselves this question but if you or others have insights, by all means, share them.

I hear you about the chatter, that can be a turn off to some, while others enjoy it.

Unfortunately the group you describe is not unusual. What the group leader doesn't know is that if and when he does return, he may not find the same enthusiasm exhibited when he started the group. Trust has been broken and is not easy to rebuild.

Regards,

Nicole

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

I like your take, Nicole. And like you, I prefer to use Gaia's interface of 'My Groups' or just 'Groups' to see group activity. 

I realize that if I see a group with little activity and like it, I might post what comes up to support it.
[and may I say- THANK YOU for each time you post!  I don't say that enough ]

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Mudge and Jeff, I don't think the cultivator will mind you continuing discussion there [and I promise not to peek!].  Perhaps other members will join in too?

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Hi There everyone.  Love ya'll.  I'm one of those who has joined groups with such great intentions of participating and then … I don't!  Don't ask me why because I don't exactly know.
Time is a little bit of a factor, but I know it's not the only thing.  I find I'm reluctant to just blather for the sake of participating even when I've read something that just speaks to my heart so strongly.  I try to leave a little reply if I think a post has really meant something to the writer or has fed my soul or brought some  new perspective to things. 

Then there are the times when I've been so moved by a blog that I jump right into a reply only to find that the server just disappeared leaving me locked out of cyberspace and my beautiful reply is lost!  :)  Quite a good lesson in Ctrl A Ctrl C
Often, the blogs or posts I read are so enjoyable, but the process of replying can take a little more time than I would like. 
I'd love to grapevine my friends more often – sort of a quick hello to each, but that's also a computer process that keeps me from doing it more often … just call me lazy on that one :)
So, I'm definitely in the “lurker” category, but can be moved to get involved – like here, for example :)  I realize how much Gaia means to me and how much I would miss connecting (even as a lurker) when I can.  One day, I went to get online and found that I couldn't log on to Gaia!!!! Let me tell you, I got a reality check around how much Gaia and everyone's presence here means to me!

So, love to all of you for your lives in the world, and your presence … either fleeting and lurking, or a solid presence, or those who are somewhere in between.

Re: Silently devoted to you:"lurking"'s gentler face

Loving where all this lurking is taking us!
[tiptoeing out so everyone can keep posting!]