Comings and Goings on Gaia

I was barely into Zaadz when I read people being sad a friend had left and hadn't told anyone. Fast forward to a year later, Samme lit a light for you, and you were found and came back …to Gaia.

Then it was Samme's turn to leave for a while [or did we just think that happened?]–we exhorted him to return–and he is back!

Some of us take breaks and let everyone know and it's enjoyable to be away as it is to be here; and all works well…because after all, Gaia is within us; and that is what it's all about for me.

O.K: enough about me.

Have you felt like taking a sabbatical, a break  from Gaia?

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

O.K. I'll go first.

A few times,I've logged into Gaia and seen someone's post and gone – “Oh no! What is she/he going to say to me now?” and then I feel “I can always leave.” followed by  “One can never run away because the problem is within me –I faced it; it was my perception; my energy that attracted whatever it was that troubled me, and now it's time to leave ego-land, where I feel that YOU are troubling ME”—and go to the land where I realize that I am being shown something that'll get me out of myself….”


Ego/separateness leaves…
…and then I come back. [and no one even knows!]

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

Hi Meenakshi,

This is excellent, to have this discussion, just what I was hoping.

I have taken time off, yes, in fact I took nearly the whole year 2007 off, but that wasn't because I feel offended by people on the site, rather that I was too depressed to talk to anyone in any way, except for family, work-related and one or two very very persistent friends :)

The best thing about leaving was how great it was to reconnect. In fact though I was an Ambassador before I left, I have become much more deeply involved in different aspects of the life of the community this time round.

I had to take a brief breather last week because of computer problems and no doubt will not be online much this weekend as my friend with be visiting. But it's wonderful to know that people care here and that whenever I go away and return, there are always such warm friendly messages of welcome home!

Love and light,

Nicole

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

I may comment more next week, but for now:

1)  I would only hope that people who profess so much energy and desire for change flit away on occassion and share that energy and compassion outside of Gaia - out there in the bigger world and community.  As such, I would think such abscenses to be a pragmatic application of the values which are espoused on this site;

2)  I do not understand the coming and going in the form of deleting accounts.  I have one friend who has done this twice - I still appreciate him, still embrace him every return (and am glad to see him back) - but still do not understand “why.”  Then again, I really do not have to understand …

3)  Define “coming and going.”  Like Nicole, much of 2007 I contributed very little on Zaadz now Gaia, but in a sense of “overwatch” and “observation” I was very much here… I've posted that soon I'll be inactive in the sense of contributions, since with the AMB badge I see that as a form of responsibility of explaining why I may not comment on blogs/threads, et cetera, and not be able to give a reply to every comment graciously provided for the few contributions (poems) that I will be making in that period.  Without the AMB tag, I'd probably not make such an announcement - and if 2007 is any indication, either folks would not notice, or they'd be completely at peace with that…

4)  From a personal perspective, when I'm not on Gaia (“gone”), I think and feel much like I do when I'm here. ;)

Good topic.  Thanks for starting the discussion!

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

Each individual on Gaia has his/her own reasons like work, family, travel, life. Those type of reasons are not necessarily due to an upset or explosion but more as just a mistake or misunderstanding not yet communicated or worked out privately.  

Taking a Leave of Absence and announcing it on a blog for work is different as we can still visit the blogs and read the friend while they are off working is the mannerly thing to do from all of that hard work of interacting and coming up with posts.  

Leaving  this type of print { :-) } due to lack of interest or worse an unhandled upset, the symbol we have learned to differentiate between new people that haven't set up a profile, and those that blew (left).  Because the symbols are the very same its it tough for a newbie where we all gotta fill in our own data from the unknown.

The door is always open at Gaia even if its just a tiny opening until things get sorted out and the players can be honest and straight following the simple rules under the terms of use.  When in doubt, communicate.  There are enough people on this site and the Gaia Team answers every single email the same day when possible.

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

I have not taken a break from Gaia yet, I nearly did a couple of days ago though, but someone mailed me and I got talking and I stayed lol
I just got a bit fed up, couldn't think of anything to say except how miserable I was feeling and I didn't want to lower the energy here by doing that. There were no posts I felt interested in enough to answer, same with the blogs. So I decided to stay away til I felt happier.

I have left other boards, without posting I was going to do so.
Mainly ones where Lightworkers congregate, the emotions do run high there and if I am upset, I don't retaliate, I just go.
Those I am close to I mail sos they don't worry and we stay in touch.

Then there are those I have outgrown.

And those I become bored with.

However, Gaia has lots of interesting groups, so, maybe I won't get too bored.

But, if I should leave, remember I love you and won't forget you xxx

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

I'm just always so pleased that there are so many folks able and willing to share exactly what they are able and willing to share: how can we ask anymore of ourselves or each other?
Active interaction, active observation, inability to interact or even observe for some reason, or avoidance… they all seem to suit a purpose in various times.

Blessings to all,
David

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

Hello All…

Thanks for posting here and feeling comfortable enough to share your feelings and experiences about the Comings and Goings on Gaia!

I'm jumping in here to learn more about the problem named The Elephant..
Peggy J, if this is one of the reasons people leave pods or the Gaiasphere altogether then maybe this thread, at Gaia Networking, is a good forum to discuss what it is, how it affects each of us, and how we can work thru it.

Are we calling a person who is a member of a pod but has forgotten our guidelines…

By joining the site, you acknowledge that you are entering this community with reverence, compassion, respect for yourself, your fellow members, and the law, and a desire to grow and to give to the world.

…The Elephant? I'm thinking this is probably the case from what you said in your post,

“However, the elephant that has caused so much disharmony in this community previously is back at it.  Maybe someday someone will address the matter more directly… Meanwhile I again retreat from stupidity…”

Or is this phenomenon sort of a mob mentality? A group of people who have forgotten the second part of our guidelines…

So while you're here, instead of criticizing, create something new! Instead of trying to get someone to adopt your beliefs, try exploring a different perspective that incorporates both your views. Instead of resisting a challenging opinion, try to learn something either from the person or about yourself. Pay attention to what's best in others, and encourage it… and assume that others will do the same for you. :)

…by taking sides, putting on blinders, and blasting someone who is part of the group but who, for whatever reason, pushed at someone's beliefs the wrong way?

Or maybe all of the above and more…

The only way, in my opinion, for this site, for our communities, for the entire world to get past in fighting and wars, to get past caring only for those who are like us, to get past the invisible but very powerful borders erected by mankind to keep 'the enemy' out… is to learn to COMMUNICATE!

This means learning to communicate with people who are prickly, people who make a habit of finding fault with anything they come across, people who don't realize how their words are hurting others, people who take slight at every word uttered and are sure they are being put upon or attacked by the community. Yes, we have all encountered someone like this if we've been on-line and communicating for very long.

At times, we too are this insecure, fearful, insensitive, hurting person armed with a keyboard and our human failings…

If you have found yourself in a situation where you felt uncomfortable, unsafe, attacked, or pressured what crossed your mind? What was your first instinct? Did you chose any of the following options?

A. Leave Gaia
B. Contact a friend/s here and enlist their help
C. Alert Siona and the Team
D. Put your profile on Friends Only
E. All of the above
F. Other

Can we have this discussion without pointing fingers and naming names, please? We have all stepped on each other's toes, crossed boundaries, and hurt feelings at some point in our lives. Having people called out in public isn't productive nor does it make us better people for it.

For those of you who left and then came back, we're very glad you rejoined the conversation, even if it's only on a private, friends only basis!

Smiles!
amber

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

Zmiles for sure.

I'm only here for a short while yet was drawn to this post by Amber And had to THANKS!

That's what I'm talking about!

Blessings, David

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia-clean break, burning bridges

Amber, thank you for reminding us about the need for assessing and re-assessing our own roles in the Gaia community, within the community guidelines.

I was reading the posts on this thread, and seeing how many times, the thought of coming or going or returning or a break, can occur to us.  I think it's the same as the thoughts we may have about our f2f  relationships or even life in general.

Speaking personally, the feeling that I can always leave, is something that is like an air- vent in a room; or the gills of a fish, that allow air in but not water; and remove toxins.
———————–
It's important to make a clean break as none of us can know whether or not it is permanent. Life flows!

Clean break in this context means not to leave questions or feelings in people's minds, which will cause them to discuss or call or wonder what happened. Energetically, removing hooks and cords; detaching. Otherwise we leave physically but stay energetically attached.  That is fine too, if it is what we would like to do. [refer to ENERGY CLEARING- cords and hooks]

There are many ways that we can use the Gaia features to take a break or leave without burning bridges; in other words, being connected but not attached:

• make our profile “private” or Friends only and if we come back, change the settings
  
• inform our friends and let a few know an outside email address in case we'd like to stay in touch. Remove friends whom we would not like to stay in touch with.
  
• turn over our pods to a moderator; or inform pod members that we're leaving, giving them a chance to save their posts if they're so inclined

Peggy J multiple Goings

I joined Zaadz in January 2007 and have never felt like leaving or taking a break.  I do struggle a bit at times, with a thought many of us have occasionally, do I spend too much time here?  Is my life balanced with family and work and “me” time beyond the Gaia space.  I think for the most part it is, but it is a juggling act to fit Gaia into an already full life.  That is one reason why I have chosen to be active in only ONE community. 

One month after joining Zaadz, I picked up my first friend, a young woman named Carrie, who I am still fond of.  My 2nd friend a few days later was Peggy J.  We were never really close but I respected and liked her.  Then, Gaia bought Zaadz and quite a few members chose to leave, for whatever reason, it really didn't matter.  

Peggy J and I were so not very close.  It took me 2 months, after she left, to realize she was gone.  It was abrupt with no explanations, and as I was new to social networking community sites, I had no experience with such.  There was also alot of unease over the transition from Zaadz to Gaia; and a couple of others, who had been prominent about that time, disappeared as well.

At that time, when anyone left Zaadz, the management put a “deleted” with your smiley face that remained.  I didn't know what that meant.  I didn't know if she had gotten into a bit of trouble with management for being too outspoken and perhaps, they had booted her.  I was absolutely torn at the thought that anybody here at Gaia could go “poof” and end up a deleted.

After while, word came to me that Peggy J had left of her own will.  Then, I was a bit hurt.  She hadn't even said good-bye, but had just left me hanging.  Perhaps, she knew something about herself that caused her to leave that time.  When Samme and others, I among them, called her back, she came - but I think the heart of Peggy of Zaadz could not embrace Gaia enough to immerse.

She told me in my Living Metaphysics pod, of which she was a member, when she discovered I had run all over Zaadz posting notes and had written a blog the first time she left called - Missing Peggy J - that 

>>>”It was a personal growth thing when I left zaadz, a selfish thing, a feeling sorry for myself thing, a whole lot of facing health issues & crumbling mind thing….. and my computer died thing… well on & on….”<<<

At least, this time she told me -

>>>” I calmly decided to delete all my pods, blogs everything & move on…. I am packing up and leaving for good by tomorrow…peace dear one - - - pj“<<<
 
This time I knew why and that she was leaving.  This time I was ready to quickly let her go, as Peggy J is a force of her own in her own life, and one can not divert her anymore than they can easily divert water intent on going downstream.

I still care for and appreciate Peggy J but I can let her go this time, content that it is her choice, something I did not know last time.  For those who may not have known her well enough to get the good-bye this time, I share with you what she said.  I am thankful that Gaia management now says “no longer here”, it is so much less disturbing.  Heck “deleted” could have even been interpreted as left the planet, or this physical life, that thought went through my mind in those days.  It felt very Big Brotherish at the time.

And I am still not one to need a “break” or “leave”.  I figure I'll be here as long as friends are here, as long as the community does survive.  There is nothing I can not work through and no need to leave to make a point.  I have learned to communicate and communicate and communicate when necessary, until my heart and gut tell me All Is Well again.  Those of you who know me well, know that all of this is so.

Deb

Comings & Goings on Gaia

 She contributed a lot to zaadz and Gaia and helped many more than those few upsets.

Let's all think twice before deleting and think twice before posting something that you would not want to have done on yourself.

Re: multiple Goings

Beautifully said - Thank you!
Blessings, David

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

Deb,

Thank you for sharing your emotions on the leaving of Peggy J. It is good for all of us to recognize a loss to the community, to honor a friend, to acknowlegde our feelings… we take so much for granted these days and a friend is something so precious that to simply shrug our shoulders and move on would be horrendous to say the least.

It is also good for us to realize that it only takes one person, whether intentionally or in ignorance, to hurt someone badly enough they would wish to leave. There is so much love here at Gaia, but this is a species still reaching for a higher self, and we're all vulnerable to hurt and rejection not realizing we all have the power to turn that hurt into love for the person who has hurt us. Someday we will know this instinctively and be at peace.


Dave,

I loved what you said here,

“This does not mean safe from challenge… oh no.. instead, the safety comes from knowing we are loved and supported by so many, and that when we may feel hurt by another… we can smile… knowing that with the love and support of our community… no one can ever hurt our hearts.

At Gaia… we are never alone.”

And I laughed at the last line… At Gaia… we are never alone…

A fate worse then death for those who are simply wanting to blog in peace!

In this community we're all family and you may wish that your Uncle Jed Enlightened One would stay off your blog for the Holidays and your Aunt Mable Rising Moon would keep her nose out of your profile postings but this is not likely to happen! Before I put my settings on Community Only I even had a complete stranger butt in on a personal blog because I typed the word 'hysterectomy'. Since he has this word alerted on his google search I may get to see him yet again right here on Gaia Networking! Hugz to him!

We all get to decide what personality we wish to be in our 'on-line community'. We can be the hermit, the extrovert, the sensitive type, the thinker, the spiritual one, the Grandmother or Grandfather, the wise one, the silly one… and on and on. We can also decide to leave the community and focus our strengths in our real life communities for as long as we like!

Whatever we do, be it on Gaia or in our real lives, let's do it in joy, in love, and at our highest possible selves… Peggy J will be missed as all family is missed and we know she's going to do great things because she's a Gaian.

Amber

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

thanks for setting things straight again amber.

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

Amber,

Thanks for such truth in all your words and for this parting thought, because I do believe it is also true …

>>>”(Peggy J) is going to do great things because she's a Gaian.”<<<

that I believe, there is something special about being called to be here, and I don't say that because I am - here.

Deb

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

One thing that i have learned from being in community;and specially those who have many friends; is that we then have that many people we care about. And if something hurts some friends of ours, it hurts us too.

It doesn't have to be something said directly to the i-who-is-me but to the i-who-is-me-and-my-friends-and-much-of-gaia   and so on.

In community, our hearts begin to expand, and that can do both: keep us within the community and make us leave.

What causes the scales to tip one way or the other? I think it is when we find ourselves unable to look both ways.

Do we feel we can stay in balance; be aware of each action of ours; and compassionate towards each person.

We cannot control another; but we can balance things out.

That is what this pod is all about. Helping us to share the ways in which we can enhance the experience of community while we are here…and even when we go.

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

I received this mass e-mailing from Frederik, who I believe is a member of this pod (I'll check that next and I'll inform him I have forwarded to this discussion as I believe it is relevant to what KES posted here), not to divert the attention but as an example of good changes that flow from uncomfortable events -

Deb

[Deceit of the Selfish mind] New Events, Rules.

As to light some recent Events on 'Gaia'

I am just informing that I will more intensively check for bad use of language. (shooting) and too often disrespect to the 'argumentated heavily debated discussions'.

In other words,

I will not have un-social discussion on this community. This to preserve the idealistic conditions in which our thoughts can best sprout, so we may seed our idea's among the people.

Even though I am very well aware this isn't a busy community, I invite you to invite friends, this forum will remain under my dictatorship :P

Regards,
Frederik

[For those of you who hate these kind of mails, don't worry I hardly ever do it!]

This message has been sent from Deceit of the Selfish mind. You can change your subscription settings here.

Comings and Goings...Laughter is the best medicine

Under the concept of laughter is the best medicine, don't miss this blog about the discovery of the AGA virus (commonly known in our community as the Elephant Flu) at this brilliant blog by Morningstar/Lisa -

http://morningstar11.gaia.com/blog/2008/12/news_from_the_gaiasphere_4_health_update
Just wanted we needed at this point -

Deb


[mod note: added main thread title:Comings and Goings…; meenakshi 2 dec 08]

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

What a great group of people looking at all the perspectives (all the parts of an elephant in the dark) and using what tools they have to share their perspective with others causing all to grow a bit.  There are way to many wonderful analogies for me to point too other than one of the original one's on this thread.

This thread is yet another example of “being the change” no?  I am grateful to read the thoughts and perspectives shared.

Sad for goodbyes and not enough time to post myself yet feeling fine due to the life and discussion carrying on. 

As I quickly (LOL) try to catch up on ZNG after several days absence I'm listening to Ani DiFranco Up, Up, Up,… on the album of the same name.

“Half of learning how to play is learning what not to play with…”

We all find our way and how to share it. 
Blessings to all and thanks for the sharing!
David

Re: Comings and Goings on Gaia

Hello all,

I wanted to write you another post, since I've been a member of this group formally for a long time, but have hardly ever written anything.

I guess it is a question of relevance. I do not want to be left alone on Gaia. I think that is utterly pointless. I would much rather be having interesting conversations. However, I have only rarely found conversations interesting me to join. I have strict relevance-discriminations which many online conversations have failed to meet, although the few I've had have been worthwhile, although never in a pod, ironically.

The community has been a pleasure for me, albeit a mild one, and not one where I've been able to feel and cultivate as much connection as I would like to have. I have rarely been involved since I've joined, outside of updating my own page, and occasionally, my blog. I've just found that so much of what I have to say is so personal, that I'm not sure others would understand, or be interested in what I'm talking about. We all have such different perspectives on what matters, what is worth doing, discussing, so on. It is just so personal.

There are of course, our common values, and I believe that is the greatest strength of the Gaia Community- that we are nearly all striving for most if not all of the same things. Although some people are outspoken in their pursuit of our common values in uncommon, sometimes controversial ways. I recall some drama around posts by Amadon a while back. I didn't particularly agree with much or everything he had to say, or even less so, his ways of putting it, however, I was and am still very supportive of everyone showing up authentically and speaking their own true voices.

I guess I will keep staying in the community, even though to be totally honest I haven't gotten what I hoped to find here. I'll stay on, but I'm kind of disappointed since I haven't connected with people much on spirituality, Integral, and other topics. I have hardly ever received blog comments. I know my blog entries have tended to be long, text narratives, which are not as easy to access or read through than shorter entries.

So many shorter entries seem so vaguely indistinct that they are almost cliches. I look for uniqueness and value originality over commonality. When we post things that are exceptional, personal, and go beyond the many typical, spiritual-speak buzz words, that is valuable. 

I guess the other thing that I try to focus on is action. Words can often be too cheap to be worth writing, or reading. What I do, how I live my values, what I do to practice them, counts for a lot more than my blogging them, and so I see others content in the same way.

That makes me look to find value in others who have little to say, or a lot, but who are talking about what they're doing as well as what they believe, and what kind of results they're getting from their activities. I think that is really important to have all three of those.

There often seem to be a lot of people here who have a lot of nice things to say, but lack the action piece, or the results piece. I hold a really high standard for this kind of stuff, one that I have yet to even live up to, so I don't go around tooting my own horn, and suspect those who do. Humility is much better. Still, I place a high value on taking actions which produce positive results that made a difference.

That emphasis tends to make me more interested in teachers, social entrepreneurs, healers, artists sharing their work, educators, coaches and consultants, and anyone who's living their values out loud. So I want to give props to all my friends who are living that reality- esp the Gaia Leadership Team and my friends on it, esp Siona and Jessica. I admire and appreciate the space held for us.

I think if I could offer some kind of request for the improvement of the community it would be for people to reach out more to each other, be less reticent to dialogue, share, and check out each other's stuff, and see where that goes.  I've done a little reaching out and looking about. Some good has come of that. And I'm one for objectives, so I'm looking for worthy ones.

Something about Gaia that a lot of people seem to love is the philosophical discussion side. I've done so much of that in my life that three things have come out of all that that still have value for me, which I try to focus on here on Gaia, although it has been challenging.

Those three things are, in short: practice, action, and reflection.

Practice, as in Dharma practice, Integral Life Practice, mindfulness, loving kindness, ethics, Noble 8-fold Path, etc.

Action as in engagement, social initiatives, activism, mutual aid, teaching, mentoring, helping, healing, politics, and right livelihood.

Reflection as in the kind of taking stock we do with ourselves and our close intimates at the end of the day, week, year, or other cycle, and the meaning we make of our journeys together.

These are the things which have value and are compelling for me to share about with others. I've hoped to do that on Gaia, and I have a little bit, although much of it has been solitary :(

I've looked around a little to see where I might connect more, and I should probably do a lot more of that, because I do believe this is the right place for me, as much as any e-community can be I suppose, although I need to express my disappointment in having not yet found in the friends I have here, or with non-friends, the kind of connections that support the sharing of practice, action and reflection.

Maybe those are too personal for Gaia Community. I would hope not. If this place is meant to be a general/amateur clearinghouse for spirituality of all kinds, then it may not be of as much interest to me as I thought…. although I will still use it for networking and finding people and events for live sangha/practice as much as I can.

Once again, I had a lot to say. I encourage everyone who read my whole comment and has a desire to respond to write to me. I would like hearing from you, and will certainly respond.

And I'm really glad you're offering the Gaia Scholarship! I applied. Thank you!! :))

Thanks for your attention :)