Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

1. Be your (highest) self.

• How can each of us be our highest self in our activity on Gaia.
• Are you aware of this guidelines each time you hit the “Send” or “Update” button on Gaia?

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

M, I am not sure if the terms 'reverence, compassion, and respect.' are universal, if we are all supposedly operating under these terms of reference. Perhaps some clear examples should be included to help make it clear to all users. This has been my experience with anything which might require interpretation…

I certainly am not aware of the guidelines, not at all! It's just my own standard I am setting and attempting to keep every day and every where I go. So I haven't had the dilemma of stopping to think at any stage. I just set my bar this high. Not everybody does and I'm not sure that 'agreement with the terms of service' or whatever, is sufficient to ensure that they will apply it anyway, particularly where there are no penalties to enforce it anyway.

Gentlemen's agreements went out of style a long long time ago…

Peace.

Sherrilene

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

I do remember something like this when I first joined.  I liked that members were expected to express themselves at a high standard but I do understand as Sherrilene expresses that can be hard to define.  I've done this before but it is worth revisiting from time to time fresh and anew.

[1]  Reverence - respect felt or shown
synonym - honor > a keen sense of ethical conduct

Interestingly, I found also as example this quote by Samuel Butler which is not what I think the Gaia Community Guidelines intended -
“Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.”  I rather like better a quote from Albert Schweitzer “If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.”

[2] Compassion -  sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it 
synonym - pity >  sympathetic sorrow for one suffering, distressed, or unhappy  (it is interesting to note that this word often has a negative connotation)

Someone named Mason Cooley said - “Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves.”  Yet Ralph Waldo Emerson said “But a compassion for that which is not and cannot be useful and lovely, is degrading and futile.”

[3] Respect - to take notice of; to regard with special attention; to regard as worthy of special consideration; hence, to care for; to heed; also to avoid violation of or interference with  
synonym - deference > submission or courteous yielding to the opinion, wishes, or judgment of another

Friedrich Nietzsche said “Go up close to your friend, but do not go over to him! We should also respect the enemy in our friend.”  Yet the Dalai Lama says “In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.”  Mark Twain said “When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.” 
 
Meenakshi, of course, I know you look not only for definitions, synonyms and quotes but how we each apply these but knowing what it is we are supposed to be applying helps.

Of myself, I can only say that interacting on Gaia has encouraged me to go deep, be true and authentic, and I think the degree of anonymity helps this.  There is actually less ridicule online than in real life and the stakes aren't so great as regards safety and security.  So, I find it easy to be my “true” self, that self I feel myself to be, that self I believe myself to be, here at Gaia.  Then, I fulfill the niche I was created to fill.

I do try to always speak from my heart.  I may be “reacting” and I may see where I over-reacted but I do take responsibility when I become aware of such and that is part of being true to myself and I believe it helps others to take responsibility for their actions, if they see me take responsbility for mine.

Deb
 
 

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Hi Meenakshi,

I agree in principle with the principles expressed on this thread and particularly Deby's post, very clear.

The difficulty is in who judges that someone has followed the guidelines?

I would expect that the person receiving the message would make that determination, however how should the person receiving the message respond if they don't feel the tone of what they are receiving is appropriate?

I believe, in fairness, there should be some sort of protocol whereby the person sending the message or posting to a thread, should be given a fair opportunity to 'adjust' if the person receiving the message objects.

I think if someone objects to the way they have been addressed before they take other action such as blocking the sender the responsibility should be on the person receiving the message to express why they object to the way they have been addressed.

Of course I'm not referring to situations where a person has been abusive or expressed violent intention - I believe that type of message should be forwarded to the team immediately and let them deal with it.

I'm referring to cases where there may be a language or cultural misunderstanding or something as simple as pointing out that they feel someone is being sarcastic, where the person sending the message might be blissfully ignorant that that is the intent they are conveying.

This would help resolve problems before they get a foothold.

- an eccentric Aussie

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Andrew,

Perhaps this quote by Mark Twain also makes your point -

“A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.”

I saw this last night as I worked on my own comments, and thought of you, and that it is an excellent thought, even for this discussion, but it did not fit in completely with what I was working on at the time.

Perhaps we should always allow a bit of time, eh?  Thank you for giving me a reason to use this.

Deb

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

It was just a suggestion Deb but I'm glad to have been of assistance to you.

- Love and peace

Andrew

BTW how did you know I was round???    :-)

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Andrew,

Just a lucky guess my friend.  Just a lucky guess.

;-p

Deb

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Being our highest self is something we should all
practise, everyday, in everyway.
Be it here on Gaia or in real life -especially in our everyday
lives.
Because it is easier to be “higher” here , we should keep
in the back of our mind that we must indeed be our true selves.

Imagine, when you are writing, that you may one day meet some of
the people here and try and see if they would still have the same
“image” of you, if they knew you in the self.
It is a good guideline -because most of all, we need to be honest.

In the day's of many “phonie's” on the web , we should always
have our “eye's wide open” in our dealings with other's.

That being said- I feel Gaia is the most honest place I visit
and interact and I think over time we have actually been
improving -although I must admit - there was a bit of a “glitch”
in members when we made the transaction from
zaadz to Gaia.
At first, I was worried at the new people we had attracted,
and I think that is why some of the original members
did actually leave then.
But now, we have a great gathering again and we
are real!!

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Hey there Andrew!

In a really cool world where everyone knew instinctively what the intentions of another were exactly then what you wrote below would work perfectly.

“I think if someone objects to the way they have been addressed before they take other action such as blocking the sender the responsibility should be on the person receiving the message to express why they object to the way they have been addressed.”

Because we all are able to exercise free will the only responsibility anyone has when responding to something they object to here on Gaia is to behave according to the Community Guidelines. Period. So I get to block, hide myself behind Friends Only, leave the community, put my blogs on private access, or express why I am objecting to the way I've been addressed. It's very exciting to have this freedom! I don't have to 'fix' the way a person behaves here. I don't have to engage. I can go on playing in the Gaiasphere the way I want to play as long as I follow the Guidelines.

None of us has a responsibility to tell someone why we're 'unfriending' them. We can if we wish and I have had people (I consider them to be brave) who have unfriended me and also wrote a note to tell me why. I know it's not easy to tell someone why they are no longer going to be on a friend list. How do you say, in a kind, compassionate way, you no longer wish to be a friend with someone? Because this IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY… to be kind and considerate or not say anything at all.

Not you, nor anyone else here owes me an explanation for anything they do to prevent me from accessing them. If my bestest buddy here on Gaia suddenly took my name off their list it would be completely appropriate for them to do so. Would I be hurt? ABSOLUTELY! and I would wonder what in blue blazes I did to be deleted. I would also hope that I have enough confidence in myself to know my best friend or any other who blocked me had their reasons and that's that.

If I had several good friends block me or delete me from their lists then I would do the same thing I do when I find myself irked by each and every one of my co-workers… I would LOOK AT MYSELF TO BE THE PROBLEM and go on vacation or something! ~grin~ 10 people can't be wrong if they are all reacting in the same way. I must have made a breach of trust, stuck my foot in my mouth (yet again), or gotten up on my soap box for no good reason.

This is how I look at all this community stuff. I try to own as much of the responsibility for my communication as possible and also allow myself the freedom to distance myself from whatever bothers me in whatever way I chose.

Hugz and Smiles to our essentric aussie!
amber

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Hi Amber, how is the Princess,

In a really cool world where everyone knew instinctively what the intentions of another were exactly, there would be no cause to make the suggestion.

I'm looking at the bigger picture.  There is such a wealth of goodwill, love, understanding, compassion, brotherhood, sisterhood, forgiveness, mentoring, counselling and joy in Gaia.

How much of those resources are stagnant because people are worried that if they do speak up they may be misunderstood, accused of causing offense, be blocked by a friend or ostracised?

To respond to someone that you feel is not exercising due respect does not have to be confrontational.  It could be something as simple as “Do you really mean that?”

We are all on the same side, we want peace and harmony in the world. I'm looking for a way to bring peace and harmony to the communication shortfall within Gaia.

Unfortunately some probably won't like this but for every ambassador that has blocked me (it has only been ambassadors that have) I would have had 3 or 4 messages out of the blue from members telling me they like the way I express myself on Gaia, and not to change.

So who should I take notice of, people that refuse to talk to me, or people that are kind enough to offer support?

I am my own person and will continue to be true to myself. 

The only influence that messages of support have is to make me realise I'm not as isolated as some would like me to believe, which can be very comforting…

Amber I don't for a moment want more rules, I'm suggesting a guideline.

In love, peace and understanding,

an eccentric Aussie

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Hey Andrew!

I'll email you so this thread stays in context with Meenakshi's first post!

Smiles!
amber

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

I love it when You say nothing at all :-)
Amber

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self-inner talk

Mod note: Andrew, I'm sure Amber will respond to your specific query; in the meantime, to bring the focus back on the purpose of this thread, which is about how each of us follow this particular guideline; what is your response, if you'd like to give one, to:

• How can each of us be our highest self in our activity on Gaia.
• Are you aware of this guidelines each time you hit the “Send” or “Update” button on Gaia?

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Mod note:

Ensuring that the response is not to a post; but to thread; this discussion is for:
=================
Not whether or not we agree with it; because by joining Gaia, we commit to agreeing to it. Or rather, we join Gaia because we agree to this.

I'd like this to be a focused conversation, for these questions:

• How can each of us be our highest self in our activity on Gaia.
• Are you aware of this guidelines each time you hit the “Send” or “Update” button on Gaia?

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

As I read this discussion as well at the Guideline's of Gaia, which in many ways are the guidelines of living a fully authentic self all the time…
When we step into or log on to Gaia pages, and decied to write or blog or respond to someone or something we may chose to ask ourselves “what am I Being” at this moment, what comes up for me.? There is no right or wrong answers. there are just suggestions of how you wish to show up at this time and this place in your life…

Some suggested they are more authentic or real here then in their daily lives, there is something to look into… Yes it is easier to talk or write, than to Be or act from a Higher place for many of us and I am one of those… knowing I could respond from a higher place yet do not. I even sometimes, in the moment know I am not acting or thinking the way I really wish to be…
So in the words of “God” speaking through Neale Donald Walsch in Conversations with God book 1, to me one of the most powerful insightful authentic books ever written and from my favorate chapter, chapter 8, in which they discuss “relationships”. This community is a relationship… building, nurturing, ending, starting, ever evolving relationship with our self and those around us…
 “Relationships are constantly challenging; constantly calling you to create, to express, and to experience higher and higher aspects of yourself, ever more magnificent versions of yourself. Nowwhere can you do this more immediately, impactfully, and immaculately than in relationships. In fact, without relationships, you cannot do it at all.”

This community ask that we step up to the plate here, step out of who we were to who we truely are…. take responsiblity for our thoughts, words, and action, all actions of creation. What do you create, Love or fear?

I come to Gaia in the belief that people here are all equal, all traveling a journey to their Higher Self… yet we all revert to a more earthy space at times and need a re-minder, to re-member our Brillance! Here is your/our opportunity!

I am Love, Jeff

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Agreed, Jeff.
blessings to you and your dear ones,
CG

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

C. G.

 Thanks and thanks for reading…

Jeff

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

In a way, doing the spell check is a great way to review what I've written; and is perhaps something I need to do more often. I used to pride myself on my spelling; but then typos are a great pride-killer!

When I don't do a spell check, or–as OM had once shown us on another thread, don't format our post properly–I am not respecting the other person.

To be my highest self, is to respect those I write to!


Another point I learned, is that before hitting the Send Post; I have to moderate my own post; so that others don't have to do it for me. Something that kids are taught to do, all through schooling here: check your own work!

Another lesson for me.

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Although I don't use the spell check,
I do take advantage of the edit button!
I may sometimes send my post off in a hurry-
as you do when you are anxious to get your'e words
out - but I always read it through as soon as it is
posted, and then edit any mistakes I find.

I am not sure how long this status lasts though?

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Hi sandy, there's a 15-minute window for editing blog comments and group posts. After that, you have to ask any moderator to make any changes desired, and that's not a common practice, understandably !!! LOL !!!

I too sometimes post and edit, but I believe only the first version goes into Notifications, so that's incentive for editing before posting.

Blessings, OM Bastet

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Tharlam, I like your response. Being mindful is available to all of us, if we choose to access it.

Thanks for your personal perspective certainly!

Blessings, Sherri

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Hey there Meenakshi! Thanks for bringing back the focus! Oh my, spell check before the post indeed! My highest self misspelles {{{giggle}}} many words!

How can each of us be our highest self in our activity on Gaia?

I feel that the best way for me to know if my activity on-line or in real life is at it's highest possible level is first to love myself and cut myself some slack when I feel I've dropped below the level of conduct I feel is acceptable.

Then, it's a moment by moment checking in with myself to see if my ego is the one communicating or my true self. If it's my ego then I'll feel pride in how clever and witty my post was when I hit the Send Post button rather then a feeling that the conversation was enriching, contributory, and in line with the topic of discussion.

Are you aware of this guideline each time you hit the “Send” or “Update” button on Gaia?

I have to admit the answer is almost always, no, to this question. I really don't think much past Spell Check and Edit when I post. I do spend alot of time thinking about what I'm typing, the way I'm typing it, and how it might look to the people reading it. I don't wish to hurt anyone's feelings as that would make my ego aware that I wasn't clever or witty when I posted and my ego really dislikes that! (say hello to my Ego when I wrote the previous sentence… it was trying to be clever and witty!)

Smiles to everyone posting on this thread. It's a tough discussion because “Highest Self” probably means many different things to the people here at Gaia. Some of us set the standards for their Highest Self extremely high and others might not have even asked themselves yet what their Highest Self would be to them. It's a journey of discovery for everyone.

Smiles!
amber

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

It occurs to me that I can't be my highest self, if I feel the other is being that too.

And if “your highest sel”f seems higher than” my highest self”–or vice versa– it first makes me laugh, as it seems like a children's game [!] and then, I realize; that it's not something that IS or ISN'T; it's something that we're accessing each time we communicate.

Or not.

To which end, I found this cartoon and related article:

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Exchange is ver key to be mindful of.  I really enjoy the ads on Gaia on the top bar and the GAIAM ® towel on the right and big bird to the left branding Natural Travel. and as I renew my browser I am reminded of Illumination University - which everyone should check out!  I would really like knowing how I can some day advertise on this site.  I do hope that those that run this site are paid well because they deliver in abundance.  We do exchange with each other as a group and that flows back in a direction sometimes immediately and some times a bit of a lag but does flow and the people on this site that I am aware of are changing attitudes of earth.  I have noticed that even if we clean our homes it affects other parts of earth.
Lee

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Thanks for pointing out the ads Lee.  There are services you can get through the Gaia Team to sign up for an e-mail at Gaia where the ads are taken off.  I feel they do an amazing job with the ads.  It frames the purpose of the site.  I have gotten things from some of the ads and love Illumination University. site personally.  The best is Q&R for being new.

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Enjoying the thoughtful responses here; something comes to mind:

I read Sherri's blog yesterday about how we are not consistent.

She writes: “I look at people and I immediately see the potential resident in them. I begin at that place. I speak to them at that higher level and quite often, they respond. But to make any assumption that a person will live and act at this high level consistently is my biggest mistake, and one which I keep doing repeatedly.”

I guess that when we have a guideline like this one :”Be your (highest) self. ”

While posting in this community; each of us just makes that choice moment to moment.

And for our own peace of mind, perhaps we can follow her lead and accept : ”That people might be at different places along their development paths… and further, that we are completely all right being right where we are!”

Flowing together….[and sometimes stopping at a tidepool or moving into another direction!]

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

Meenakshi

I can only add [conclude?] that we might choose to, in this forum, if we consider it important enough to do so, 'step up' to our potential best, just for the occasion!

My other conclusion from repeated interactions is that our priorities in a given moment will practically make the decision for us.

If we want to see our contributions to GAIA Community as particularly meaningful, we will consciously read and re-read before clicking 'Save', just like we would think about how we presented ourselves on the job or whatever. But if we are just having fun, passing through etc., then we will be more flexible, more casual, more playful.

Again, none of us, in my view, has a right to judge anyone. It is important not to ever take things personally and to hope that any person who is in the playful [kidding around] space, will be honest about it and not impose their games on others that are much more 'into' life and community, here on GAIA.

I hope this is useful in some way!

Thanks for cross-referencing. I appreciate the invitation to comment.

Peace and joy to you.

Best, Sherrilene

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

• How can each of us be our highest self in our activity on Gaia.

Re: Community Guidelines-Be your (highest) self.

I guess the trouble comes with the expectation we have of others. Since we are interacting in many areas of this community, we can't help but have some expectation of those who are reading, commenting, responding or even those who aren't doing all this.

I am learning, as others do; as part of my spiritual practice in both offline and online life; to ask:”What can I do next”, whenever a situation arises that is disturbing to me. I can't expect that another person is in the same framework that I am; that hän has understood my intention; or that I can fully understand theirs.

So, I keep things simple. When I don't like/ am disturbed by another person, I just go back to my mantra–“What can I do next”– and go from there.

And once again, I give the benefit of the doubt; but don't expect it.

——-

On another note; I was thinking today, that things differ according to whether it's a blog or a discussion thread.

—-I am most careful/mindful in a discussion thread
—and possibly least careful/mindful when writing a blog. That is where I allow myself some more freedom than I would, when directly writing to someone by message, grapevine or in a pod where the words are there after I've written them; for not only the one I addressed to read, but others as well…

Let's see what else comes up abt this.