My 30 minutes "no thought" challenge, FASCINATING!!!!!!!!!

I want to share with you an experience i had when i was experimenting on
the 30 minutes “no thought” challenge i created in one of my groups.

I cannot believe i meditated for hours before trying this breath awareness (without any thought, feelings or emotions coming in) and cannot do the 15 minutes challenge (at the 15 minutes “no thought” challenge group at <a href=”http://onegoalinc.ning.com/groups”>www.onegoalinc.ning.com</a>).

I just did the first 2 minutes, and that was after trying for an hour or so.
When a thought comes, i start again until i complete the 30 min. experience without thoughts, feelings or emotions coming in.

I want to discover the secret in this breathing (with no thoughts). I just am so close to doing it, i cannot stop. I just have this knowingness. So I laid down and closed my eyes and looked at the clock before i started.

It puzzles me how can i meditate before (i had been meditating for 29 yrs. before i tried this experiment) for hours with no thoughts. Now, i can't even do 15 minutes without thoughts coming in. This is absurd.

Then i remembered, I had a process of getting out of the body and plunging to the void before. I was taught that by my master. That's maybe the reason why i by-passed the thoughts when i was meditating before.

I did the 30 minutes challenge finally after 2 hours of trying. In my mind i said to myself ( like Buddha sat resolved to get enlightenment at all cost) i won't get out of this bed without getting it right. I just will do it right this time, and i will.

I debugged the whole process. I first put the thought separate from  me breathing. I then went inside the thought, then i went inside me breathing. I
looked at the whole thing objectively and i thought, there's something wrong here, something illogical…

It then dawned on me that my beingness was not based on truth, i am not the one breathing. If i am not the one breathing, then who am i? I am the breath, Eureka!

Well, i then played with me, the breath, like the air in the void….wooow! The key for me is breathing harder. Reminded me of pranayama “yogic breathing exercise”.

This time aware of me as one as all. Just so freeing. Felt like the real me because even if my eyes were closed, i am fully aware of my breathing. Meditation was more passive but expansive. I remembered there was this flow there in my meditation and i just flow with that.

This time, it is more me changing my beingness as me, to me  as air swimming in space but aware, just like i can go throughout infinity, aware and back here  as me, the breath with a body where me, the breath can also move or direct my body. I felt in one moment , me as orange lights flickering as “Oneness and Equality as all life expressions in its totality.” Then i felt i can change infinite beingnesses in one moment and still not change me in essence. Fascinating!!!!!!!!!


Enjoy.
www.onegoalinc.ning.com